PERSONAL EXPERIENCE WITH 16 POINTS
FASTING
Namaskar,
After waiting three-and-a-half hours on the platform in the grueling sun,
finally there was an announcement indicating that the train was coming.
I gathered my bags and readied myself to board the train. To date, I had
been an acarya for seven years and had learned how to "manage" acarya life.
Everything had gone well with Rajuji and the rest of the margiis in this
locale but now it was time to move on.
SOP: STANDARD OPERATING PROCEDURE
I was doing what had become a common practice of the day amongst various
acaryas:
Leave town on the day of Ekadashii and then arrive in the next place and
announce to everyone that I had fasted the previous day, when in fact the
night before the margiis had fed me a delicious "pre-fasting day" meal.
This was the way things had developed in WT life, unfortunately. I learned
this "fasting technique" from my supervisor and had seen this ploy
successfully carried out by any number of workers.
At first I myself was too nervous to do it. But over time I became
accustomed to it. Until finally it became no big deal. I was doing it all
the time.
LEAVING RAJUJI'S
So the night prior I took full belly at Rajuji's house and then headed off
to my next destination. While on the train I slept some, read the parts of
the newspaper that was circulating around our train car, and talked with
some of the other travelers. In this way the time passed and my 4 hour
journey was nearly complete.
ARRIVING AT VERMAJI'S
The train slowed as it approached the upcoming stop and finally the train
came to a complete halt. I grabbed my bags and descended onto the platform.
The margiis were expecting me. I looked up and down the platform-- knowing
that they were sure to come and greet me. I did not see anyone.
Then from behind I felt a few tiny hands grabbing onto my gown. I turned
around to see the shining and smiling faces of three young boys. These were
Vermaji's sons. I knew them well and their joyous presence meant that
Vermaji was also close by.
In a moment, Vermaji approached with folded hands and a warm look in his
eye. I had been here just two months ago and it was good to be back.
Immediately, Verma welcomed me and inquired about my health etc. And then
the five of us went together to catch an auto-rickshaw in order to head to
Vermaji's house.
Along the way the boys were silently looking at me the whole time and
Vermaji and I talk about the news of the day. Plus we discussed various
plannings for his unit such as talks, pracar programs, the upcoming PMSA
event, and he gave me a summary about how things at the school were going.
MY LIE: "I FASTED YESTERDAY"
Finally, as we approached the house, Vermaji asked if I was fasting today
or not. I told him that I had fasted the day prior. He was very happy to
hear this as he said his wife was preparing a special meal for my arrival.
And he said that he himself was fasting tomorrow, which I knew to be true.
Because whenever, given the option between fasting on a Friday or a
Saturday, then always Vermaji would choose Saturday. He had told me as such
on earlier visits and I knew him to be sincere in this.
EATING ON EKADASHII
Anyway once he understood that I had fasted yesterday, then when we entered
into the house he said I should attend to my evening duties and sadhana
etc, because dinner would be ready in a short while.
So I arranged all my things accordingly and did whatever I did etc, and
sure enough in a short while the call came for dinner.
And that night Vermaji and I ate and spoke about all sorts of
organisational dealings, financial arrangements, and I gave him all the
news about where I had just been. Like this the evening passed and soon we
were off to bed.
The next day came and went quickly. As planned, Vermaji did his fasting and
I arranged my own food and attended to various inspections at the school
and dealt with other affairs. And the day after I left for my new
destination. That was a Sunday.
My mind was feeling relaxed and I did not think twice about having played
that fasting drama with Vermaji. I figured it was good he fasted and I
justified that what I do is my business and that is all. In that way my
mind was nonplussed or unaffected by the fasting drama as it had become a
way of life.
AN UNEXPECTED EVENT
Tragically that next Tuesday, one of the very elderly and senior margiis
from Vermaji's bhukti passed away. And margiis from all around came for the
Shraddha ceremony, including Rajuji.
And that is when the whole thing leaked out.
HOW I GOT EXPOSED
Because in passing, Rajuji and Vermaji discussed about various happenings
and they naturally talked about their recent visits with me, since it had
only been a few days earlier that I had stayed with them both. And in their
own way, it came to pass that Rajuji mentioned that his wife had prepared
me a special pre-fasting day meal. And in response Vermaji said that that
was impossible because his own wife had prepared me a special meal for my
post-fasting day. And within one or two sentences my whole drama got
exposed-- totally. They understood that neither I fasted at Rajuji's house
nor at Vermaji's house. Rather I had lied outrightly about the whole affair.
CS DADAS REACTION AND THE WAYS OF THE ORG
I came to know about all this because both Rajuji and Vermaji are respected
and senior margiis and in an effort to straighten the situation out they
talked to my chief Secretary-- not my direct in-charge. Needless, to say CS
Dada was very displeased with my behavior, and he scolded me that 'If I
wish to skip fasting then I should keep myself hidden in the jagrti and not
play such dramas with the margii families'. Then he got even angrier at me
as said that, 'This ruins the reputation of all acaryas.' Even though we
both knew well that so many Dadas-- especially here in Delhi sector--
regularly skip their fasting days.
Anyway, the difference being as CS Dada put it was that, 'I had gotten
caught and lost the faith of the margiis'.
Then CS Dada instructed me that as a point of rectification I was to tell
my story to all-- and by that way it would serve as a reminder for me not
to do such things again. For that reason I have now written this entire
chapter to all of you.
AFTERWARDS: SOME REFLECTION
Actually I did not have to do what my CS Dada told. Because nowadays--
since the last 4-5 years-- no worker listens to their supervisors. Rather
people do as they like. Some skip their departmental meetings entirely,
others just engage in private business, and sadly others indulge in sexual
affairs and do not care whether they get caught or not.
So in that atmosphere I did not have to write my story to all of you about
how I cheated on my fasting day. Because after all, what could CS Dada do
to me-- next to nothing. In that way I was quite tempted to just overlook
my punishment.
But in retrospect I figured that I should do it as a means to reaffirm
myself to Baba's ideals. Ultimately I want to follow 16 Points and I do not
wish to deceive anyone. Rather I aspire to become an acarya in the true
sense of the term. And I thought writing this letter would help in this
regard.
So for this reason I have recounted this story and by Baba's grace this
will help me to rectify my misdealing as I want to be sincere in 16 Points
and become a model of AM.
BABA'S BLESSING
Baba says, "Your ideal is represented by your conduct. Your learning, your
social or economic status have nothing to do with your ideal." (A'nanda
Va'nii #13)
Namaskar,
Dada
Note 1: SOME OF THE MANY BENEFITS OF FASTING
By following the practice of regular fasting, one's entire body gets a
chance to recuperate, thereby inviting better health.
Baba says, "During fasting the body's organs get a good rest, and the
healing process is more rapid." (YT, Appendix)
Plus in this next quote Baba advises us how by fasting we will decrease our
dependence on food and develop ourselves in other arenas.
Baba says, "You should not depend on food too much. This is why I have
prescribed fasting on four days a month for some people and two days a
month for others, and personally I have proved by fasting for five years
and eight months at a stretch that if people try, they can remain without
food. If one's dependence on food decreases, one will gain more freedom in
a particular aspect of life." (AV-7)
Note 3: PARAMA PURUSA IS AWARE
Anyone who thinks they can eat on fasting day and get away with it is a
fool. Because even if one tricks the margiis and even if one justifies the
situation to himself, even then it is a guarantee that Parama Purusa will
know what you did.
Baba says, "Parama Purus'a knows all the three phases of time: the past,
the present and the future. Nothing is beyond the periphery of His
supramundane knowledge...Suppose you eat something on the fasting day of
Eka'dashii, thinking that perhaps Parama Purus'a will not know it.
Certainly He will know about your secret eating, and He feels amused at
what His little child is thinking. Not only the boys - the girls also make
the same mistake. Perhaps on fasting day they eat chocolates and think, 'I
am eating secretly - no one can see it.' This is defective thinking,
because Parama Purus'a knows everything - nothing is hidden from Him." (SS-12)
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Brave Persons
Baba says, "Do not remain worried about your individual problems at all. Be
prepared to carry your own burden and be prepared also to carry the burdens
f others. Then alone are you brave. Be dagdhabiija. Everyone has their own
individual problems. Do not try to pass them on to others. On the contrary,
bear the burdens of others. No one is your enemy. Be ready to bear the
burdens of others." (AV-30, p.4)
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