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Mahaprayan of Dr Ramesh Sinha

Date: 30 Jan 2010 18:24:10 -0000 From: "Gurucharan Yadav" To: AM-GLOBAL Subject: Mahaprayan of Dr Ramesh Sinha Baba
Namaskar, It is with deep sadness and respect that we share the news of the mahaprayan* of respected margii, Dr Ramesh Sinha of Ranchi. Our esteemed elder brother underwent his mahaprayan on Jan 29 13:30 IST. Dr Ramesh was well known for his social service activities in the medical field as well as for being president of the Abha Memorial Trust. He was selected by Baba to head this trust which would bring all the medical pathys under one roof. In addition, Dr Ramesh was an active leader in AMURT activities and he faithfully served as one of Baba's personal doctors. Given his many contributions and devotional approach, it is totally disrespectful to say he died - when the higher, more respectful term of mahaprayan is available. Of course Parama Purusa is eternal and never dies so there is no question of using the mahaprayan term with Him. But in the case of Ananda Margiis like Dr Ramesh it is totally appropriate and deserved to use the term mahaprayan. Tragically, for the last three years he suffered from dementia and was mostly restricted to bedridden existence. With his mahaprayan, we pray that our dear brother Dr Ramesh has found eternal peace on Baba's lap. Namaskar, Gurucharan * Mahaprayan: Many are aware that mahaprayan is the common term used in India and especially in Bengal to describe the death of an honoured or even ordinary person. In that way the newspapers of Bengal are regularly citing the mahaprayan of respected persons of society who died or passed away. Some may get confused and wrongly think that the word 'mahaprayan' is one extraordinarily devotional term to be used in association with Parama Purusa. But that is not at all the case. Rather to do so is only to undermine the eternal presence of Parama Purusa. That is why no devotees ever use the word 'mahaprayan' in reference to Lord Shiva or Lord Krsna. Because Lord Shiva and Lord Krsna exist eternally. Then there is no question of Their mahaprayan. And for those who need still more technical proof then all this can be clarified quite readily by referencing the dictionary. Specifically in the Samsad Bengali-English dictionary on page 742. Checking there it will be confirmed that the word 'mahaprayan' means death of a respected person.

I Also Have Ego

Date: Sat, 30 Jan 2010 16:12:54 -0000 To: From: Subject: I Also Have Ego Baba "Shun'echi tumi dayalu, ka'je keno anya dekhi..." (P.S. 2125) Purport: O' Parama Purusa, I have heard that You are the merciful one-- why then by Your work and by Your action do I see something different. For You my eyes are showering; my days are passing in calling and longing for You. Baba You know that I love You. Although I am meagre but even then I am Your atom. The pain of the unit is the pain of the Universal; the pain of the atom is the pain of the Cosmic. Don't You understand this simple truth. O' Dearmost, please go on doing according to Your desire. Only my request is that You keep me along with You. The pain and grief of my heart cannot be covered. The suffering of my heart will not listen to Your various justifications and excuses; it cannot be appeased by the mere jugglery of words. Baba, I want Your proximity and closeness. Baba, in the scriptures and by seeing Your glory, I heard from other devotees that You are love personified and merciful. And that You are caring for others. So many good attributions You have. But when dealing with me I see something totally different. Here I am crying in longing, and You do not care. Why like this? Please grace me and come close...
Namaskar, This letter briefly details some of the phases of my sadhaka life and how I always thought I was ego-free, and then how I gradually came to realise that I was quite dominated by my crude ego. I am writing this to help cure my problem and because I thought this might be a useful tool for others.
For years and years I was always thinking I do not have any ego-- or I was thinking that my ego was just something 'minuscule', if not 'non-existent'. In a superficial way I thought that, 'I do not care about my own greatness, I am not like those kings and monarchs who always tout themselves. I am just a regular person'. And in that way-- in that skin-deep approach-- I was foolishly believing that I was completely ego-less. That was how I was thinking about myself, and this went on for years and years-- for most of my life as a sadhaka.
However, after reading Baba's various discourses about ego (ahamkara) and vanity (mada), then slowly, slowly it dawned on me what ego is. I realised that one need not be a king or queen to have an inflated ego. Unfortunately, having an over-inflated ego is quite a common ailment on most any street-- it is the ailment of the common man, though in some lands more than others. But, previously I was blind about this, so I thought I was 'ego-free'. Until Baba's discourses slowly shined the light on me and I began to understand. I really came how when discussing Baba's discourses & teachings with good sadhakas. Then I became more aware about what ego is, and how it expresses. By this point, it really began to dawn on me that indeed I do have an inflated ego.
And the danger about it all is that when one has an inflated ego then one cannot do proper sadhana-- and that was my problem.
Here then are some common signs and signals about whether one has a bigger type of ego or not. Everyone can read these criteria and decide for themselves if they suffer from this malady or not. 'Do I have an inflated ego?', that is the question of the hour. (A) When I did anything, then I used to have an underlying feeling that others should recognise, praise, or appreciate my efforts. This was my inner urge. I was thinking that I had done some great things and I wanted to hear a 'thank you' or some words of praise. And if this did not happen, then I would become disappointed, dejected, slightly depressed, or even furious. To the degree one suffers from this, it means they have ego. And that ego will impede one's sadhana. Of course, Baba is the real Doer-- He inspires us to act and graces us to be able to do something-- so really there is nothing for us to be egotistical about. It is all Him. But even then the unit ego likes to relish in the idea that 'I am great'. And I had / have this problem. Now here is another situation that helps determine if one has a big ego or not. (B) When walking into a room or arriving at a place or when meeting someone, I would always think that the next person should greet me first. I was thinking that others should serve me-- either they should take my coat, or bring me my food, or something. This was my expectation. So that was all the disease of my own ego, nothing else. I was thinking that due to my talents or seniority or for any reason, that others should greet me first and pay their salutations and honor me. They did not have to garland me-- I was not that obvious-- but I was feeling that something big or small should be done to distinguish my standing from theirs. That was my cheap anticipation and expectation. And if it did not happen then I would feel uncomfortable, sad, or even miserable. So this was all the expression or disease of my inflated ego. This is another way to recognise if one has an over-active ego like I had / have. When in truth one should be unconcerned & unaffected about how one is received by others. Rather one should be ever-ready to greet others first, which leads us to the next situation. (C) The next expression of ego is if one does not like to give respect or recognition to others. That is another sure sign that one's own ego is too big. I was thinking that their presence or their actions pale in comparison to mine-- in that case why should I recognise them, rather they should appreciate me. This also was or is my problem. Of course the answer is that we must see all as the expression of Parama Purusa and one must not think that 'I am I and the next person is Joe or Shyam'. Rather we are to think that all are Parama Purusa. That is the only cure. Then one will be anxious and ready to greet each and every entity in this manifested universe. But my habit was not to do like this. I was constantly measuring myself up to others and calculating if I was better than them or not, in which case I would not recognise them but would wait for them to recognise me. This led to so many complexes-- like superiority or inferiority etc. All of which is a result of having too much ego. So this was / is also my problem. (D) Then in this next scenario-- this may have been the worst of all because it was all happening internally. Listen to this: Even when I was all alone, when I performed any action, or did something 'good', then I was reassuring myself and thinking that I am the doer of many great works. I was petting my own ego that I did a particular work etc. In fact, this was how I made it through all my days. I would constantly stroke or pet my own ego-- subtlety telling myself that I was great. It was all happening within. And that type of harmful disease made my second lesson non-existent-- along with all my other lessons. I could not see Baba in anything because my own ego was always dominating. And when sitting in sadhana, it was even worse. This was my horrible problem and still I am addressing this fault. The real answer, which we all know, is that in reality He gives us all our energy and our duty is to serve Him. That is how we are to view our actions in this world. But because of my defective egoistic thinking, I could never ideate in this way and my practice of brahmacarya was gone. (E) So the above are ways in which ego expresses itself. And it is not always so blatant or glaring. It can be done in a small or almost unreognisable, so one has to be careful and perfectly honest with oneself. Otherwise you will not be able to identify the problem, yet it will hamper your sadhana. So one must never harbour any type of feeling that others are low, or that I did this or that, or that I am better, or that others should recognise me. These are all crude expressions of one's own unit and petty ego. So indeed, I was and remain a victim of my own ego-- and worst of all it impedes my sadhana. Though now, by Baba's grace on my good days, I feel that He is allowing and enabling me to do everything. And I try to cultivate this idea more and more. Sometimes it comes naturally and on other days I have to impose it.
As one Dada once told me, the ironic thing about the ego is that most think that they have no ego. That's because people do not understand what are the manifestations of having an ego. When in fact having a big ego is one of the most common maladies on this earth. One need not be a king, sports hero, president, or movie star to have a big ego. Many have this problem and it deteriorates their well-being. Because of the dominance of one's ego, people get sad or depressed, suffer from inferiority or superiority complex, and cannot do proper sadhana. Because in sadhana their mind just spins around their own unit existence and cannot swim in the vast ocean of cosmic consciousness. If one thinks all day about their own unit glories then they cannot do sadhana. And that happened to me. But in that predicament, one cannot overtly recognise why they cannot do sadhana. One will just think that sadhana is impossible or that Baba is not gracing me. One will not think that their own ego is the stumbling block-- the real impediment. In that case, the only way out is to do honest introspection and really ask yourself if any of the above egotistical situations apply to you. Do I expect praise from others; do I have feelings that I did something; do I want others to recognise me etc etc. One must be totally honest in this regard. That is way back onto the path of sadhana. Even then that will not cure the problem entirely; that is only the beginning. Ultimately, one must cultivate the idea that Baba is doing everything. To gain success in this, we must surrender unto Him and ask for His divine compassion, otherwise we are a sinking ship-- drowned by our own ego. That is how it has been explained to me and I agree with that assessment. And that is why I am sharing this with all of you today.
Here is also one teaching from our Beloved Guru that is especially helpful for curing an over-sized ego like I had. Baba says, "Bear in mind that you have a duty towards – indeed, you owe a debt to – every creature of this universe, but towards you, no one has any duty; from others, nothing is due." (CC-2, chapter 1, point #3) By Baba's grace, this type of teaching is enough to get one going onto the right path of ego-less service. But saying it is not enough, it must become embedded deep within one's psyche. And this can happen by sadhana, as we have all experienced. Because only sadhana transforms and cleanses the mind deep inside.
The greatest tragedy of a big ego is that one will go away from Parama Purusa. Because when ideating on one's own unit self or ego, then cannot even think about Parama Purusa-- let alone feel His presence. Rather one will just be involved in their own name, fame, and prestige, and then that mind will not flow towards Parama Purusa. That is why the ego is very bad and can destroy one's life as a sadhaka. This is my personal experience.
By Baba's grace, He has given us the best way to overcome the bindings of the unit ego. In various Prabhat Samgiitas, Baba has given us this golden teaching-- this beautiful way to think. 'O my Lord, due to the trappings of my own ego and unit existence and I cannot get close to You. That is the painful truth of my life. So Baba I request You to please grace me and remove my ego. On my own I cannot solve the problem. So please shower me with Your divine compassion such that I should never ideate on my own unit things, but rather always focus on Your lotus feet. O' Baba, please be gracious. I am completely depending on You. You are my Savoir and You have have accepted me as Your disciple and if I remain dirty then it will not be Your glory. In this way, take mercy on me-- on this poor and helpless soul-- and cleanse me of all egoistic feelings and make me Yours. O' my Baba, please be gracious...' Namaskar, Mukunda
The physical body flows in one direction-- each and every day it grows older and moves closer to one's death. But the mental body flows in two directions. It can go up or down. Like a river, it is easiest for the mind to flow downstream-- into the depths of hell. But with sadhana, the mind can also flow upstream to the top of the mountain-- to the height of human glory. But to reach that divine stance it takes energy and effort. And what is that effort? Sadhana. Only by this way can one overcome petty feelings of their own self and make the mind bigger and bigger. Here the point is that human life is most often like a river flowing downstream in that the unit ego will just involve in itself because that is easy-- yet ultimately making the mind smaller and smaller. But, by His grace, when doing sadhana, then the mind will grow in magnitude and become God-centered. Then and only then can the mind flow upstream and reach that divine abode. So we must put forth effort and then by His grace the mind will magically flow in this direction until we attain Him. This is Baba's special teaching.

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