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Are You Worried About Your Teenager

From: "Virendra Mandal"
Subject: Are You Worried About Your Teenager
Date: Mon, 16 Jan 2012 21:14:55 +0530


"Tiirthe tiirthe ghuriya' kla'nt haye esechi dva're..."   (4112)


 Baba in search of You, after wandering around the globe in various holy lands, I am completely tired; and in that state now I have reached to Your alter. Baba, be gracious, please do not turn Your face away; and please do not become unhappy,  angry, or furious on me. Please open the door and allow me to come inside.

Baba, look towards me; my whole body is completely tired and exhausted. My feet are full of dust. Wandering around in the sun my whole body is sweating. I am completely tired and exhausted.

By Your grace now I feel in my heart and repent how my whole life got wasted. I was tied up in the noose of dogma. Just I was performing various rituals, wandering in holy lands, moving from one tiirtha to another tiirtha, from one Baba's Quarter to another Baba's Quarter, in search of You. By Your grace now I understand that You are hiding sitting in myheart-- smiling.

Baba, I am surrendering to You. Please accept me as Yours. Do not leave me to wander to this and that dogma-- involved in one or another ritual. The path which I was crossing through, that path is dark & full of hopelessness. I wasted a lot of money, time, and energy but nothing was gained. And now I am too tired. I want Your divine direction.

In spite of moving on the negative path, by Your grace in the garden of my mind some flowers have bloomed for You. I want to offer those flowers at Your lotus feet. Now the creepers of hope are swinging and the feeling is coming that You will allow me.

By Your grace, Baba You have already given me the longing for You in my heart. So now please allow me to come close to You to touch Your feet. Baba, I am Yours and You are mine. I am surrendering everything to You. Please accept me...


In many sectors we see that the children of senior margiis are not very involved in our AM way of life. There are so many examples- especially with our teenagers. Yet Baba has given us a very great tool for reversing this negative trend so that we can successfully raise our children as margiis.

And in general, in this world, all want to get success. And even more than that, everyone wants their children to become successful.

Yet, it is not so easily done, especially in this day and age when there are countless challenges, struggles, distractions and obstacles.

This letter addresses the matter of success - both inside and outside of Ananda Marga - and how we can help our children attain it. In particular, the points raised apply to our youths and teenagers, i.e. kids aged 9 - 19.


In a number of discourses, Baba has graciously given the specialguidelines for attaining success: Namely, the seven secrets of success.

In the past, various letters have discussed different aspects of theseven secrets. Here are a few for your review.

This letters focuses primarily on point #2: Dvitiiyam' shraddhaya'yuktam'. Specifically what does it mean to have "reverence for the goal"and how does it manifest in daily life.


Generally when we use the word goal, we mean it with a capital "G" and the Goal refers to Ista or Parama Purusa. That is the purely spiritual meaning.

But in one of His many discourses on the seven secrets of success, that is not Baba's central meaning with regards to the word "goal". He has a different intention. As we know Baba often explains the same shloka in different ways. With regards to, Dvitiiyam' shraddhaya' yuktam', He refers to it being a spiritual goal in some discourses and sometimes He talks about it in mundane ways. So this point is applicable in both manners: mundane and spiritual.

In one such discourse, Baba is using the word goal to refer to one's endeavors in life - whether they be work, school, research, sports, repair, or almost anything at all. In all these circumstances if one has reverence and regard for what they are doing then they will feel linked with their work - and that brings success.


Let's say a person is involved in their studies - perhaps mathematics or literature. If that student feels that this subject is silly and of no value, then no matter how long they study, they will not gain mastery of the topic. What to say mastery - they will hardly learn anything at all. Because they are unable to fully embrace the subject.

In contrast, if a student has great interest and regard for a particular topic and they have the strong feeling that, "This topic is of great importance and I must learn this", then it is certain that they will get success. They will become quite adept in that subject.

It follows then that if a father desperately wants his son to be doctor and the son is more interested in Sanskrit or mathematics, then the child will not succeed in the study of medicine no matter how much pressure the father places on his child. Because the child does not have the requisite reverence for that topic - he does not want to study to be a doctor.

Likewise if one only "learns" because of the pressure of an upcoming examination  or because they will be punished if they don't study, then whatever they "learn" will be forgotten very quickly. That knowledge will not stick.

Shraddha', or the 2nd point of the seven secrets,  relates to when one has great interest in the topic at hand.

This sense of shraddha', or deep reverence, for all endeavours in life is one special ingredient for achieving success. And it is especially useful for teenagers for a few reasons. First, they are in a great stage of development in life - they have to learn many things: School, friendship, summer jobs, and other responsibilities. Second, if they develop this sense of shraddha' now, they it will be a lifelong tool for them. Then they will always know what type of mind-set is needed to get success.

Shraddha' indicates that one feels that a particular action is the right and ideal thing to do. Such is their mental feeling. Thus it is not just respect or reverence in a general sort of way.

For these reasons and more, as margii parents we should all be keen to help our teens cultivate a strong sense of shraddha' for all pursuits in life.

Very importantly, it will also carry over into how our children approach Ananda Marga. We must logically convince our children of the value of AM teaching so they feel ready to embrace them.

Teenagers are in a very important phase of spiritual development - for the first time ever their glands and minds are duly awakened and they can easily conceive of higher aspirations and grand ideals.

Baba says, "The dream of the future first crystallizes in the mind of the adolescent. So adolescents should be taught, without indulging in narrow-mindedness, through the medium of idealism." (HS-1)

Naturally then, if that sense of shraddha' - deep link with their work -  is instilled in the minds of any teenager, then their journey into our AM way of life will be fruitful.


The next critical matter is how to inculcate that sense of shraddha' or deep link and feeling for one's endeavour.

Firstly, as parents we must convince our children of the importance of a given task through logic and reasoning. Our children must know why it is important; then they will get convinced. Then they will embrace the point internally.

If our children thoroughly understand the benefits of a vegetarian diet then they will follow sincerely it and not be swayed when they see others, especially their classmates, eating meat. That is the way to instill the point of shraddha' - through logic and reasoning. Then the mind will be set in its endeavour. We should all do this with our children regarding all facets of AM ideology.

Unfortunately it can happen both in AM and certainly in the general society that parents just tell their kids what to do but do not convince and educate them on the importance of the point. Without that, the children feel forced to follow it but in their heart they are not convinced. In that case there is no shraddha' and they will not gain success. In that case such parents do a disservice to their children.


Now comes the next step. Why is it so important for us to convince our margii children through logic and reasoning when so many of the various religions need not take this approach.

The answer lies in numbers and popularity.

So many of our margii children are not involved in AM, whereas so many Muslim and Christian children are involved in their religions.

Those Muslim and Christian children are growing up in areas where all their friends in school also follow that religion. In that case they believe their religion is is good simply because of the sheer popularity of it. They do need logic and reasoning to be convinced to follow those tenets. They just do it because everyone else is doing it.

Whereas in AM most margii kids are not around any other margii children. They are alone. Without any peer support, they need maximum logic and reasoning. They will have to be internally convinced that AM is the way to go. Because when none of their friends are following AM then they will be prone to think that our AM way of life is silly or stupid. Because none of their friends are involved in this way of life; AM is not popular. To overcome this, logic and reasoning is needed. If our children are taught the real value of AM ideals, then they will follow them - even if it is not popular in their school - even if their way of living is different from all their peers.


The key point behind it all is that one must value what they are doing. If even one of our revered Wts is given work by his superior that he feels is useless, then he will not be able to do that work properly. And that project or job will just be half-baked. It can happen.

So regardless of one's stature in life, the point of shraddha' applies universally to all. It is a quality of mind and outlook and is not achieved by post, power, or social stature etc.

And that sense of shraddha' - of maximum respect and reverence for the task at hand - will generate tremendous mental force. It will give one the stamina to overcome obstacles and difficulties and achieve great things in life.

Thus inside or outside of AM - in the general society - in all kinds of communities and endeavors, regardless of the nature of one's goal (i.e. work or study etc), if one has shraddha' then they will get success in that activity.

That is Baba's distinct guideline.

Whereas the moment one thinks that "This work is stupid" or "This job is meaningless" then one's efforts are doomed. If one is a President or a street-sweeper, the moment they think in that defective manner then they will never get success.


By Baba's grace He has endowed us the way to get success in all our pursuits in life. We should share this great teaching with our children. The moment they understand the value and importance of an endeavour and cultivate deep regard for their work, then they will get success in every sphere of life - now and in the future also.



Sadhana Point

Baba says, "Where there is no love, the mind will not run after Him. So dhya'na also becomes meaningless."

"Dhya'na is withdrawing the mental propensities from all extroversive entities, and then collecting those withdrawn mental forces, mental propensities, and urging them towards the Supreme Entity. If there is no love for the Supreme Entity, this movement cannot be done." (Patna, 31st August, 1978)

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