To: AM-GLOBAL
From: "Deva_Sudhakar"
Subject: Expressing Love & Frustration to Parama Purusa
Baba
"Tumi eso, tumi eso a'ma'r ghare..." - P.S. 3190
Purport:
Baba, please grace me by coming in my abode. I go on waiting constantly for You in uninterrupted fashion after lighting the lamp of hope in my heart. Baba, You are always so gracious. by Your grace-compassion I get You in my dreams. By Your grace, I get You there. And when I wake up then I go on thinking of Your tales and talks. On my each and everything, the sketch of Your love is painted.
Baba, I always remember You; even if I try to forget You still I remember You. When I yearn for You so strongly then in my heart I feel pain in longing for You. It is then that the thought comes that I should forget You-- because by that way at least it will be peaceful. But it is difficult for me; I cannot forget you.
Baba, You are always residing in the deep core of my heart. The whole universe is saturated with Your divine love. You shower Your causeless grace on everyone. Baba, please come in my mental abode; You are my everything...
Namaskar,
The main aim of any sadhaka is to love and please Parama Purusa. That is the only way to get Him-- with the love of devotion, not via the knowledge of jinana, or the action of karma. Only with love can we grasp and hold Him as our own. This fact Baba has revealed in countless discourses.
Baba says, "A genuine spiritualist will have to establish a relation of love with Parama Purus'a. Those who remain oblivious to this truth become unsuccessful in their mission." (SS-11, 'The Path of Salvation')
Hence, love is an essential aspect of our spiritual lives. But how is it that one is to develop this love? Sometimes it can seem so elusive.
We have to remember that sadhana does not mean samadhi, or automatically falling into an unending river of love for Him. Rather, sadhana means 'effort'. And ultimately it is the effort, i.e. a concerted effort, of creating a devotional link-- a bond of love-- with Parama Purusa.
And our sadhana system includes not just the practice of meditation, but kiirtan and bhajans as well. All three are required.
Baba says, "Do meditation, do kiirtan and bhajan sincerely." (15 October 1979 morning, Nagpur)
So all three-- sadhana, kiirtan, and bhajans-- are essential in developing that special, devotional link with Parama Purusa. And this letter discusses how bhajans play a unique and irreplaceable role in this process.
The beauty of our bhajan practice is that it is a time when we can openly express our feelings towards Parama Purusa. Kiirtan is chiefly about singing His glory over and over again; and sadhana is done in complete silence. So it is only with our bhajan practice that we can verbally express our inner feelings to Parama Purusa. And that gives a huge lift to the sadhaka.
For example, if one is in a strange place and does not know anyone, then they cannot express their hopes and despairs, their joys and sorrows, their success and failures. And that creates a big burden on that person. Whereas if one is among friends, or better yet with a close companion, then they can easily share all that they are feeling. And that sharing of their inner thoughts allows one to feel light and buoyant. It has a renewing effect on one's soul-- on one's being.
That is the very unique & essential aspect of our bhajan practice. It allows the sadhaka to clear their mind and heart of all their emotions. Because in singing bhajans, there is a tremendous scope to express the full range of human feelings and sentiments.
Verily Baba has bestowed upon us the world of Prabhat Samgiita for this very purpose-- to express the full range of feelings felt by the sadhaka: The pain of separation, the joy of finding Parama Purusa, the frustration of not getting Him, the struggle of dealing with this mundane world, the bliss of His arrival, and so much more.
All of the above and countless other human feelings and emotions are clearly expressed in our bhajans of Prabhat Samgiita. Such a range of expression is not found in kiirtan, nor is it so easy to do in sadhana, because human beings like to express their feelings orally. And that is the true gift of our bhajan practice. Nowhere else in our sadhana system is this found.
In a phrase then, our bhajan practice allows us to clear our heart and mind of so many bottled-up thoughts & feelings. It is a release of our inner emotions which invariably brings renewal & levity, and ultimately love for Parama Purusa.
Thus when selecting a bhajan we should choose the right song for the right reason. We should not pick a Prabhat Samgiita based on the tune or the melody or the quality of the the singer's voice. Because for us, for sadhakas, Prabhat Samgiita is not about musical expression. It is about the expression of our own feelings.
If we are feeling forlorn and far from Parama Purusa, then singing a song about the joys of attaining Him will not satisfy one's emotional needs. Just as, if one has been waiting for their spouse to pick them up at the train station for 5 hours, then that is not the time to say, 'Thank you so much for coming'. Rather one will openly exclaim, 'Where were you? Why did it take you so long? Why are you so late? I have been waiting forever, I was so worried etc'. Only after saying this several times to their spouse will that person get some relief. And that expression brings closeness as well.
Similarly, we should always select a Prabhat Samgiita-- a bhajan-- that properly corresponds to our feeling at that very time. So we should all familiarise ourselves with a wide range of Prabhat Samgiitas so we readily have a song available to express our inner feeling, whether it be a feeling of frustration, love, anxiety, closeness, melancholy, or joy.
Because only by singing the right song will our heart feel light-- only then will our mind move in the right direction.
At the same time we should bear in mind that Baba does not judge us on our singing talent or instrumental techniques. Those are meaningless to Him. He only looks inside the heart for sincerity. So none should feel shy or distraught that they do not have musical talent; nor should one become so vain about their musical gifts. Because in the eyes of Parama Purusa, He is only concerned with the heart-felt feeling of the bhakta. If that is expressed in our bhajan singing, then everything is expressed and the goal in singing is attained. Then and only then does that bhajan practice have value. Thus there is no place for shyness or arrogance in singing bhajans.
So our bhajans hold a special place in our sadhana practice. They allow for the expression of our inner feelings and that invariably helps cultivate a feeling of closeness and love for Parama Purusa. If we do not express ourselves, then naturally a relationship will dry up. That is the way it happens in our worldly dealings and the same applies to our spiritual life as well. Thus bhajans play a great role in our development as sadhakas. It is our personal time to draw ourselves nearer to Him-- because we are not singing our bhajans for anyone else. We are singing for Baba and to express our feelings to Him. And by His grace, He always listens.
As important as kiirtan and sadhana are, we must never lose sight of the great importance of singing bhajans as a way to draw ourselves closer to Him and lighten our burden of life by expressing our inner thoughts and feelings.
Baba says, "Do meditation, do kiirtan and bhajan sincerely and together with that, render maximum social service. This is the supreme ideology for an ideal human being." (15 October 1979 morning, Nagpur)
Namaskar,
Sudhakar