To: AM-GLOBAL
Subject: Do Not Destroy the Psyche of Your Child
From: "Ishvara"
Baba
PS Intro: This below song reflects that deeply spiritual truth how
Parama Purusa is always graciously calling the jiivas towards His divine
Self through His eternal sound of omnkara-- His murali dhvani, the
divine sound of Cosmic Consciousness.
"Tumi je d'ekecho a'ma'y, a'ja je ghare tha'ka' da'y..." (PS 736)
Purport:
Baba, it is impossible for me to remain here in my house because by Your
grace You have called me to come close to You. Baba, I want to respond
to Your gracious call. Baba, it is difficult to comprehend how
wonderfully magical Your tunes and melodies are. Baba, You are so
charming. Baba, in the abode of my mind the divine vibrations of Your
flute resonate incessantly-- ceaselessly. By Your grace I hear Your
flute always: While sleeping, in my dreams, and in my awakened state.
Baba, You are so gracious; You are residing in my heart all the time,
all the 24hrs. Baba, even if I want to forget You, how can I forget You.
Baba, Your greatness is beyond conception. No matter how many octaves I
know, You are remaining beyond them all. You are beyond the reach of my
limited human capacity. Baba, by Your grace the resonance of Your divine
flute makes me float beyond all the lokas in Your rhythm, in Your song,
and in Your blissful melodies. Baba, O' Divine Entity, please give me
shelter at Your lotus feet...
Namaskar,
Every parent wishes to raise a healthy, vibrant child who grows up to be
physically able, mentally sharp, and spiritually awakened.
Yet, in nearly each and every land, community, and even family,
concerned parents and / or social norms undermine the right and proper
growth of the child.
Our mind is our greatest treasure - and the child's mind is so tender
and impressionable - yet commonly a child's mind is stricken by fears
needlessly, which hamper their growth and development. Such undue fears
ruin the psychic peace of the child, today and far into the future.
As parents, as well-wishers of society, as educators, and as sadhakas,
we should all be critically aware of this issue.
In the US and parts of Europe, the holiday of Halloween was recently
celebrated. Kids dress up in scary costumes, participate in haunted
houses, hear ghost stories, and so much more happens. The underlying
element is fear.
Plus today's filmmakers and authors play off a similar sentiment:
excitement through fear. There is an entire corporate business model
centered around this. All geared toward instilling the thrill of fear
into the mind - in order to turn a profit.
There are so many ways that the entertainment industry and social
festivals introduce the fear factor into a child's mind: ghosts, serial
killers, scary creatures from outer space, spooky noises, and so much
more. People even get a sort of sadistic happiness from scaring young
kids. Fear gets imposed in so many ways.
As adults we may say, "What's the big deal, they're just kids, they're
having fun, let them be, they'll grow up and understand the truth."
But it is not like that. The human psyche and mind are very fragile. In
so many discourses Baba points out that the child's mind will be riddled
and encumbered by those unfounded fears for their entire life.
Because the child thinks those monsters, ghosts, and goblins are real.
For them it is not something imaginary or temporary. Children do not
employ a rational mind-set to remove those fears. Those fears - based on
imposed false ideas - remain with them for ages and ages. That is Baba's
distinct warning.
Thus we should think a thousand times before exposing our children to
horror films, ghost stories, and even seemingly innocuous, kid-centered
festivals like Halloween. All these things are bound to burden, or even
ruin, a child's psyche.
Even then, the problem stems deeper than this. It is not just the
entertainment business and common social festivals that are at fault.
In His Ananda Vacanamrtam series, Baba discusses and points out specific
examples where families and caretakers use a fear complex as a means to
control or discipline children.
For instance, if the kids are playing and making too much noise when it
is their bed time, then a parent or caretaker may say, "If you do not go
to sleep this instant, then monsters will come and attack you."
Or they may say, "Naughty children are bound to get eaten by goblins."
Some even exclaim, "If you do not behave, Satan will punish you forever."
Baba also cites the examples how grandmothers tell disobedient children
that, "Ghosts will come and strangle you if you do not sit still."
In His Jan 1 1986 discourse in Kolkata, "Existential Flow & Its Culminating
Point", Baba reveals how fear is often an imposed bondage by one's own family
members. If a baby is not eating its meal, then the grandmother tries to put
fear in that child's mind. The grandma terrorizes the baby by saying, "If
you do not eat then a ghost will come and swallow you. So sit down and eat
and do not runaround." Then when that child grows to 22yrs of age, he still
has nightmares about a goblin coming and sitting on his chest. Baba explains
this clearly in His discourse, but unfortunately this section was neither
transcribed in the Bangla edition nor translated into English. It was missed
entirely. And again this further shows how one's own family members impose
life-long fear complexes by their threats etc.
To some or more degree such imposed fear complexes are used in countless
families around the world. It is a cheap, misguided parenting technique
that happens nearly pervasively. We may all even think back to our own
childhoods and remember hearing such things.
The parent or caregiver naively thinks that the problem is solved. They
think that the child has started to behave properly or that the child
stopped making noise. So the parent thinks that the fear technique is a
veritable method for discipling a child.
In the short term it may look like that.
But the overarching long-term effects are disastrous. There is a breach
of trust and even more than that the child's mind is permanently scarred
by that fear. It cannot be removed easily. That fear sits in their mind
for ages and may even carry over into their next life. That is the depth
to which the imposed fear invades their psyche.
So such unfounded fears that get imposed on a child's mind become
psychic baggage for the long haul. And we will discuss more about this
below.
Here is one other key point to the discussion.
Bhaya, or fear, is one of the four basic propensities of each and every
human being. This sense of fear is actually a survival instinct. Animals
have it; humans have it. So we already have a sense of fear built into
our human personality.
But that innate sense of fear is based on reality. Animals are fearful
of their predators so they run away from safety. The fear is real and
that fear preserves their existence.
Humans also have real fears. "I am too scared to jump off of this
bridge"; "I am scared and do not want to grab the snake; "I am too
scared to walk into the fire; "I am scared about death."
Here the point is that the fundamental fear vrtti is already part of our
mental constitution - it is a base instinct, not something noble or divine.
So then to impose false fears on the human psyche is just burdening us
further. It multiplies that sense of fear which already haunts the human
personality. Because already we are fearful about real events, and then
as children we become frightened by so many false or imaginary things as
well.
It just multiplies the sense of fear and that is not good.
The accumulation of fears debilitates the human mind - not just in our
youth but lifelong. Baba tells us that fear - caused by family, social
and religious dogmas - will stick with a person for life.
A person may suffer from a lack of courage and become permanently afraid
of the dark. Or a person may not even like to remain in the house alone
even as an adult.
And not only that, but a person may be even lack the necessary courage
to confidently answer questions in a job interview. Before the interview
they may even be hiding in the bathroom - too scared to walk inside.
This is not just a question of normal nervousness, but rather a deep
seated fear that shakes their bones.
Thus the fears that get imposed on a child's psyche are baggage they
carry for life - in all sorts of shape and sizes, in all kinds of ways.
They will be permanently shackled and will never grow properly. So we
should be a thousand times careful never to impose such fears on a child.
Here Baba scientifically shows how the fear complex takes root in the
human mind and becomes part of a person's living reality.
Baba says, "Suppose in daytime you are in a lonely place. It may or may
not be a lonely place. Suppose in daytime you are alone in a big house,
and some people told you that there is a ghost – “Ghost… ghost… ghost.”
You heard it. The acoustic wave touched your mind, touched the
subconscious portion of your mind, and after that you are told, “You
know, Mr. X, there is a ghost in this house.” And you are Mr. X. “There
is a ghost in this house.” All the nerve fibres fail to function. What
will happen then? Just touch the conscious level of your mind, and as an
extro-objective creation, as an external reflection of your very
ectoplasmic stuff, you will see a ghost. And what sort of ghost will you
see? The description of a ghost that you read in your books or you heard
from your granny, “A ghost is like this.” In broad daylight you will see
the ghost." (AV-12)
Thus what to speak of even small children, an adult's mind can also be
polluted by fear such that those false and imagined fears come to life
for them.
Here below Baba further explains the nature of this phenomenon.
Baba says, "You are the witnessing entity, you are the seer of the
ghost, and a certain compartment of your mind went outside as an
external projection and took the form of the ghost, that is, the very
structure of the ghost is ectoplasmic in nature and that ectoplasm came
from your source. You are the creator of that ghost. Actually there is
no ghost. But you will see many a respectable man who will say, “Yes, I
have seen it! Yes, I have seen it!” He is not incorrect in saying this.
He saw it, but the ghost was of his creation. It was an outer or
external objective reflection, or external objective projection, or
external positive hallucination." (AV-12)
So the human mind is very fragile and subject to all kinds of fears -
even false ones that we hear in the form of ghost stories, etc.
No one should take this point lightly and think that scaring children is
just one momentary incident. Any and all fear has a huge impact on their
psyche. They can become crippled for life. We should all pay heed. That
is Baba's warning.
By Baba's grace He has given us - at minimum - two pathways for creating
a fearless mindset.
1. We must not pollute the minds of children by imposing fear sentiments.
Baba says, "It is important that these lullabys should convey the
inspiration for the development of heroism and knowledge, but there
should be no frightening ideas in them." (PNS-10)
Thus our stories, films, festivals, disciplinary tactics, tales,
holidays should be totally devoid of scary thoughts and images. Children
should feel safe, secure, and loved - never burdened by any imposed or
false fear.
That is the first method for raising a healthy child.
2) The second method is to read Baba's short stories wherein He has
graciously written various ghost stories where those ghosts are friendly
and helpful. Sometimes the ghost sweetly drapes a mosquito net over a
sleeping person so that they will be more comfortable. Or the ghost will
bring a glass of water or offer shelter to a needy person. Basically, in
so many of His stories, ghosts and other creatures are quite friendly
and philanthropic. This helps create a positive mind-set wherein one
will not fall prey to dogmatic fears about ghosts.
Today's filmmakers and story writers should also follow this path.
This is a second method for raising children free of fear complexes.
By Baba's grace, we should be 100% wary of introducing false fears into
the mind-set of our children. Thus we must re-evaluate occasions like
Halloween and and be cent per cent certain that our children are never
exposed to fear tactics as as form of discipline. With the gift of a
safe and happy childhood, that young one will grow up and live a
courageous and dharmic life.
Baba says, "So one must move along the path of satya and one must have
the satya as one’s only desideratum. And this is the only path, this is
the path of fearlessness; that is, there is no fear in it, nothing to be
afraid of." (AV-2)
Namaskar,
Ishvara
Baba says, "Whatever I get, that I will eat" - this must not be the
policy of a sane being. This human body is a composite of protoplasmic
cells, and these protoplasmic cells are made of the food we take in. If
the food and drink is defective, then the protoplasmic cells will also
become defective, and the human mind, which is the collective mind of so
many protoplasmic minds, will also become defective. That is why
ta'masik or static food has a negative influence on the human mind."
(SS-18, p.3)
