== TABOO ==
Namaskar,
In some places, sex education is totally taboo.
But in our view - in the outlook of Ananda Marga - sexual education is a
most important topic. It is not something that can be ignored or seen as
being off limits. This is a topic that demands our assertiveness and
full engagement.
Why? Because at present, the wrong information and misunderstanding
about sex is being transmitted by the mass media, textbooks, internet,
school boards, government, academic studies etc. In all these agencies
and circles the wrong kind of eduction is going on- the preachings and
advice are misguided.
Either they project how fulfillment in life comes from sex or that
masturbation is a key practice for adolescents. And along the way so
many other dogmas and myths get preached. Their messages they present
are harmful and that is reflected in society, especially here in the
materialistic west.
Thus, if we fail to enter the arena and engage in the public discourse,
then what our youths do not learn about sex from us, they will
absolutely, positively get from the general society. Their void will get
filled with the crude dogma of society. And that will not be good.
So this is a topic we cannot and must not ignore.
This letter then addresses (1) topics are to be discussed, (2) at what
stage in life they should be talked about, and (3) who should lead these
discussions and (4) much more.
Without a doubt, your input is greatly needed as we collectively rally
around this delicate yet highly important subject matter.
MEANING OF "SEX EDUCATION"
Here it should be understood that sex education means proper
understanding and use of our sex glands in order to goad the mind in a
proper direction. If those glands are misused the results are
disastrous. Thus sex education does not mean "how to perform sex", nor
is it a survey of different kinds of contraception. Rather it is the way
we educate youths about their developing physical bodies and how to goad
the mind toward the psychic and spiritual fields. This is the need of
the day when children enter adolescence.
WHAT TO DISCUSS: PRELIMINARY POINTS
The first aspect that needs to be decided is what should be included in
our sexual education curriculum. Plus, is the title, "sexual education",
even appropriate or is there a better term. Please do write in with your
thoughts on this latter point.
Baba has discussed in great detail the importance of our glands, as well
as the significance of our "sexual glands" - the testes and ovaries
which are critical for idealistic thinking and spiritual practice. In
that sense, they are not merely sexual glands nor is that their primary
role and function.
Hence, of key importance to this discussion on sex education is the
glandular system as well as the benefits of using the glands correctly
(good sadhana, courage, bravery etc) and the harm of misusing this
system (sexual crimes, diseases, prison, loss of job etc). Both the good
and the bad must be discussed.
To this end, our discussion must draw heavily from Baba's books, Yogic
Treatments and Yoga Psychology, among others.
WHAT TO DISCUSS: THE BENEFITS
Youths should be fully informed how the right use of their developing
bodies can lead them to greatness. With the development of the testes
and ovaries comes courage, tenacity, idealism, compassion, kindness,
intellectual sharpness, and love for the Supreme. All of this Baba
clearly discusses in His discourses.
Thus our sexual education curriculum must highlight how those glands are
not for sex per se, but for helping to develop the entire human
personality. With this clear-cut understanding & empowerment, youths
will have logic and reasoning to steer clear of depraved behaviour.
Here Baba guides us how the testes and ovaries are linked with high
qualities of mind and proper conduct.
In this first quote Baba tells us how sexual restraint leads to
greater intelligence as the lymph is best utilised.
Baba says, "If the testes function properly and if there is no hindrance
from the lymphatic glands, intelligence will develop. Without the
testes, the solar plexus will not be developed and intelligence will
decrease." (YP)
In this below teaching Baba reveals how the sexual glands promote
clear thinking - so restraint is a must, otherwise that faculty
of mind will not develop.
Baba says, "If the testes are over-active [highly active] and there is
over-secretion [high secretion] of hormones, a youth develops the spirit
of rationality." (YP)
In this next teaching Baba guides us how the right use of those
glands brings a sense of responsibility.
Baba says, 'If the secretion of the testes glands is normal, a sense of
dutifulness will be created in the mind." (YP)
Finally, those glands are highly related with spiritual thirst and
creating a link with the Supreme.
Baba says, "If there is over-secretion [high secretion], a youth
acquires the power to transform that longing into universalism. In those
of you who have a longing for Parama Purus'a [Supreme Consciousness], an
over-secretion [high secretion] took place in your hormones between the
ages of fifteen and seventeen. At that stage the idea to become great
comes into the mind." (YP)
Thus if anyone wishes to become an ideal human being, they must be aware
that their glandular system has to be maintained and used properly. This
must be reinforced again and again to our youths. We will have to teach
the point that the lymph is "food for the brain" and "food for the
glands", and should not get senselessly converted into spermatoza and
wasted.
Baba says, "In males the testes are the glands which convert lymph into
semen. As soon as lymph is converted into semen, the nerves are affected
and there is a corresponding change in one’s thoughts. It is the
pituitary gland which tells the testes to convert lymph into semen [that
is, testosterone and spermatic fluid]. When the production of lymph goes
beyond the capacity of the body to utilize it, it is converted into
semen and comes out of the body." (YP)
Unfortunately, in today's society, the lower vrttis are encouraged by
negative propaganda in which case many youths and young adults cannot
develop the right qualities in life.
Our aim then is to give youths the right theoretical knowledge to
understand that we should safeguard lymph - and not get drawn into
sexual stimulation - and that by this
way they will develop all kinds of great qualities in life. Then they
will become true leaders in society, extraordinary aspirants, and get
the respect of others.
WHAT TO DISCUSS:
MUST OVERCOME NEGATIVE ELEMENTS OF SOCIETY
Again, one of the main themes of our sexual education curriculum has to
be fueled by the stark reality that the general society has established
views on sex. They teach masturbation to adolescents, use of condoms and
other forms of contraception as well as many other points related with
sexual practice. The point being that they expect and even encourage
teens in this regard.
Whereas the point of our discussion is to goad youths in another
direction entirely.
Because those who become lured into sexually oriented lives get caught
up in so many problems: disease (gonorrhea, syphilis, herpes), crime
(date rape, pedophilia, sexual predator), death (AIDS etc) and so many
other issues like poor student life, teenage pregnancy etc. These are
all regular occurrences for youths in materially oriented areas.
In particular, our young girls should receive extensive training about
female diseases. Baba has placed much emphasis on the care of women in
this regard and our young girls should be fully schooled in this way. It
is a tragedy that so many females in materialistic nations suffer from a
string of ailments. Males also suffer but generally not as badly as
females as the female biological system is more complex and prone to
disease. And of course the point of teen-pregnancy is such a
growing problem.
Thus we should warn our youths about the pains, shame, harm, and
depravity of sexually related diseases. Such diseases can make a person
sterile, bed-ridden, or even lead to death.
Of course no one ever thinks that they themselves will contract a sexual
disease or suffer hygienic problems. But it happens. That is why we must
warn our youths about this. They think everything will be fine but it is
not true. Awful problems are destined to mount if anyone travels down
that dark road.
The other danger is that sex is not just a vice like alcohol or
cigarettes. There is a huge emotional attachment as well - another human
being is involved. Youths get attached to the opposite sex and spend all
their time in that direction and their studies get left by the wayside.
A good student can lose all their ability to concentrate and focus. both
due to emotional attachment and lack of lymph. Here we are focusing more
on the emotional part.
Recently in the USA, one tragic case occurred where one college student
murdered his ex-girlfriend (a student at the same college) due to
extreme jealousy. So now the girl's life is over and the boy will spend
the rest of his life in jail. Their dreams are shattered and their lives
ruined. And both were smart students attending a prestigious school. Yet
sexual involvement destroyed all that they had and destroyed their
existence.
There are no shortages of other cases where youths spend all their time
arguing and compromising their values because of heated emotional
feelings for the opposite sex.
Thus instead of having a successful academic career and paving their way
for a bright future, they get caught up in negative relationships and
their whole life gets stuck in that way - just a pile of missed
opportunities, or even worse.
These represent but some of the many pitfalls and horrors.
Finally, we should remind our youths that Parama Purusa is watching
everything and He does not like to see His young children absorbed in
crude sexual dealing and deviant behaviours etc. So this is another
factor.
WHAT TO DISCUSS:
LIFE PRACTICES
We have now discussed both the huge benefits of right understanding that
leads to the development of the higher human personality as well as the
horrible outcomes of wrong understanding wherein youths get caught up in
disease and strife and ruin their entire life.
The next matter is how to fortify our youths to move in the right
direction. They need to know what to do in order to avoid the pitfalls
and grow in a proper manner.
Here are some points to include in our curriculum:
1) Right Company: Boys should befriend boys and girls should befriend
girls. Never should members of the opposite sex be together in a lonely,
isolated place. This should start early in the pre-pubescent years,
as some go through puberty as early as 11 years old.
2) Yoga: Youths should be encouraged in all kinds of yogic practices
like sadhana, kiirtan, asanas, kaoshikii and tandava. This will goad
their mind in the right direction as well as keep their bodies healthy,
balanced, and sentient.
3) Regular Fasting: At a young age, students should start fasting. If
they are still in elementary school or primary education the fasting can
be modified according to what our doctors and acaryas decide is
healthiest for their growing bodies. And by early adolescence and young
adulthood, our youths should be on a regular fasting program. This will
divert their physical energy away from lower inclinations and will give
them strength of mind and time for spiritual practice.
4) Proper Dress: From an early age our boys should be taught about
wearing a laungota and our girls about appropriate undergarments. Our
Ananda Marga has a scientific system that helps in restraint. That is
one point. The second point is that our youths must not be allowed,
encouraged, or swayed into wearing provocative clothing. Unfortunately
now in materialistic nations many of our students wear revealing
clothing and that drives the whole existence in the wrong direction. So
we must teach and enforce the policy for appropriate dress.
And in addition to dress there must be inherent respect for both
oneself and the opposite gender.
5) Sixteen Points: Our youths must get the full teaching about joint
hair, use of water, half-bath, and other key points of health and
hygiene such as applying oil to the joints. By our special system, the
glands are kept cool and the mind is diverted upwards. These all need to
be critical aspects of our curriculum.
6) "Cakuna samvaro...": Baba's teaching from Lord Buddha's preaching is
most important.
Baba says, "“Caks'un'a' Sam'varo Sa'dhu” O spiritual aspirant! O
Bhiks'u! O monk! O devotee! You should have proper control over your
eyes; whatever will have bad effect on your mind, you must not see it.
“Sa'dhu Sotena sam'varo”. Whatever will have bad effect on your mind, O
good man, you must not hear it. “Gha'nena Sam'varo Sa'dhu.” You should
have control over your nose, “Sa'dhu Jibha'ya Sam'varo.” You should have
control over your taste. “Ka'yena Sam'varo Sa'dhu.” You should have
control over your body. “Sa'dhu Va'ca'ya Sam'varo.” You should have
control over your language also; and “Savvatha Sam'varo Bhiks'u.” If you
want emancipation, if you want liberation from worldly fetters, you must
have all-round restraint." (AV-14)
This is a key point in this media-centered era. Youths should keep away
from websites, movies, music, television etc that is sexually alluring
etc. That means our youths need to be introduced to a whole new modality
that is separate from the flow of the general society. But actually it
is not as difficult as it sounds. Because there is a movement in the
regular society in this direction and as margiis we have a lot to offer.
So if we put forth some effort - spiritual clubs, sports, and strict use
over technology etc - then our youths can easily get success.
So that stands as an introduction or partial list of what types of
practices and endeavours should be included in our curriculum. More can
certainly be added. We expect as much.
WHEN TO REVIEW THIS TOPIC
The next aspect concerning our curriculum is when it should be
introduced. It should not be done at too early an age, nor too late.
Some of us discussed might be the best time and we collectively thought
that introducing this topic about 1 year before children reach puberty.
At that point they can learn about wearing a laungota and using the
right undergarments etc.
Then progressively more points should be introduced as children begin to
enter puberty etc. The main idea being that children should have the
knowledge they need ahead of time. That way they can prepare.
It is just like being told about a hurricane before it strikes. If one
is forewarned then all kinds of preparations can be made.
Same with entering into adolescence. The more the children know - so
long as it is presented in a serious manner and by the right person
(discussed below) - then our youths will be able to avert so many
problems and find the right course in life.
So timing is a key point. The child should not be forced to raise
questions on their own or be left to learn from their peers. That should
be avoided at all cost - then it means that the right time has passed.
We should be vigilant because although there is a general time period
that is appropriate for most kids, there are bound to be some who need
instruction and guidance earlier. We should be tuned in and ready.
WHO SHOULD LEAD SUCH DISCUSSIONS
&
HOW SHOULD THE DISCUSSION GO
This section has two parts: Who should lead the talk and what should be
the tone & environment of the talk.
The person leading the sexual education series might be a teacher, a
respected elder, or an acarya - or anyone else the parents of the
community deem appropriate. Generally speaking, it should not fall
directly upon the parents to impart this knowledge since many children
prefer not to talk about this with their parents.
Whoever is selected to guide our youths, that designated person must be
(a) a sadhaka of AM, (b) familiar with Baba's teachings in Yoga
Psychology and Yogic Treatments, (c) of proper moral character, and (d)
well regarded as a teacher.
These are the absolute minimum requirements of the guide.
Now let's discuss the teaching environment:
1) Taught by gender: This should not be co-education. There should be
strict separation of the sexes. A respected female will teach to the
girls and a well-regarded male will teach the boys. Under no
circumstances should there be boys and girls in the same class. Nor
should a male teacher lead the girls or vice-versa. It should be a
single-sex environment.
2) No jokes or crude comments: The tone of the talks should be of a
serious nature and those with questions should be encouraged, not
ridiculed. Thus the teacher will have to establish a proper forum where
all feel included and silly jokes and/or lewd comments are eliminated.
In sum, a positive, safe, inclusive, and respectful forum needs to be
established.
3) Emphasize science: The curriculum should be science based. Baba has
given great teachings about the glands of the human body, the role of
lymph the functioning of mind, and the relationship between mind and
body. Thus this course should include all the teachings and draw from
the fields of human anatomy and physiology, biology, metaphysics and
intuitional science.
4) Recording: The forums can be recorded via audio or video so that
parents can review what is going on. They should also be in the know.
Plus, there may be other uses for such media.
SUMMARY
So this is but a small look into what our sexual education curriculum
might look like. In addition, there is still the problem of the name
itself, "Sexual Education" - a better term is certainly available.
Everyone should write in with their thoughts and input about all aspects
of this letter.
We must keep in mind that if we do not take the lead on this topic, then
our youths will learns from other such as the media or their peers. In
either case, their training will be in the wrong direction.
As Ananda Margiis, we should have our stand and present our curriculum.
Once established, those in the general society will take shelter in our
programs as well. Because our way is for the welfare of the entire society.
BABA'S BLESSING
By Baba's grace, we are to bring our youths into this world in the
proper way and teach them all they need to know to get success. This is
our way - then society will truly flourish.
Baba says, "Our world needs a great change in order to move forward and
progress. A new order, a new wave, will have to take the place of the
old to remedy all the physical, social, intellectual and spiritual ills
of the world. As the vanguard of this new movement, the youth are
indispensable. It is the youth, and the youth only, who have the vigour
to bring about the necessary change. It is the youth who have the
resilience to change and adapt and implement the vision of a new
society. Without this vision, without the youth, the world will continue
in the morass of suffering, injustice and exploitation that is our
present social condition. It is the youth of the world only who can help
bring about the new world order and the vision of a new humanity." (PNS-18)
Namaskar,
Punya'tman
Note 1: RELATED TOPIC
This below recently posted letter speaks to the point of castration and
physical surgeries as forms of contraception. Of course, such practices
are not condoned in AM. Reference the below letter for all the details.
