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Lucrative & Political Business: AM Marriages

From: "tgopa" To: Subject: Lucrative & Political Business: AM Marriages Date: Mon 04 May 2009 23:59:19 +0530 Baba "Priyo a'ma'r, keno na'hi ele mor ghare, Janam janam dhare jege a'chi tava tare, priiti pradiipe..." (P.S. 4765) Purport: Baba, by Your grace, I remain awake for You birth after birth, holding the lamp of love which is filled with heartfelt longing for You. O' my dearmost, why have You not come to my mental abode. Baba, You are that Divine Entity mohan of my heart. And to receive You I have decorated a'lpana' (colourful flower petals) on the pathway of Your arrival. I have also spread the colourful fragrant pollen of the niip flower on the entrance gate of my heart in honour of Your reception. Baba, by Your grace I have trained the peacock of my manan* so that my mind can dance with deep devotion and ideation for You. Baba, by Your grace I have pulverised the noose and chain of the samskara. By Your ahetuki krpa' I have removed all the obstacles and bondages which were on my path towards divinity-- towards You. Baba, after overcoming all fear and public shyness, with deep attraction and longing, I have desperately called You with a deep, deep desire. Baba, by Your grace, today, now that I am calling You with my inner self, I can see You present in my heart. You are so gracious-- O' my dearmost. O' Baba, please reside eternally in my heart...
Namaskar, Our AM system of forming marriages is unique; it is like no other around the globe. Neither do we follow the so-called "love & romance" marriages of the west, nor do we adhere to the dogmatic tenets related with eastern marriages. Ours is an arranged system of marriage based on rationality that gives scope for both the bride and groom to be to have a definite voice, yet at the same time aims first and foremost for the welfare of child. That is why we say that our unique system of creating marriages in AM is part and parcel of society building. This everyone knows. Unfortunately, at present, in today's AMPS society, our revolutionary system of forming marriages is being tainted and threatened by a few greedy hands-- this is especially true here in Delhi sector. Because various Dadas are demanding (and getting) huge commissions for arranging marriages for female marriage candidates, plus they injecting groupist agendas into our AM marriage process. Please read the following and contribute your own experiences as well.
Firstly our revolutionary marriage (RM) system is vastly different from what is happening both in the west and in the east. In the western world, most marriages are just crude love affairs that occur only after the couple has been 'dating' for a few years-- and often both the male and female involved have already "dated" or "seen" innumerable other people previously. Here dating means spending lots of time together and being fully sexually involved, yet not having any commitment towards the other person, neither now nor in the future. Only they are sexual partners for the time being, in the heat of the moment. Such is the crude, animalistic way of western materialistic values. This abhorrent system of 'dating' often leads then to heartache, disappointment, and sexually transmitted diseases; and the worst part is that babies get born into this world without a true mother and father. Because when the female becomes pregnant then the so-called father escapes from the scene. In that case, the child is looked upon as one unwanted creature-- an ugly burden. In such a terrible state, the child feels alienated from the world and unloved by its "parents". That is why AM totally rejects today's loose and promiscuous way of western dating where people 'fall in love' and may or may not get married; and if they do get married it is often for all the wrong reasons. Tragically though, due to the mass media and the 'glory of' the west' this crude way of dating is spreading all around the globe. But this is not at all appreciated in AM and certainly all Ananda Margiis should refrain from such a manner. Such dating is no way to create a marriage-- just it leads to a debased way of living. Yet this is what typically happens in the west; actually dating is so rampant and so common-place that no one thinks twice about it. So there is a heaven and hell difference between western dating and our RM system. Before getting into the details about how certain Dadas are manipulating our pristine marriage system for the benefit of their own pocket and agenda, let's just take a moment to review how marriages are traditionally formed in the east, or more specifically in India.
The traditional Indian marriage system is comparatively better than the pseudo-culture dating ways of the west. Why is it better? Because it more closely resembles our AM model. Even then, the Indian system is not without its loopholes and drawbacks. Basically, as a quick review, the general Indian society follows an arranged marriage system, as do we in AM. But in the dogmatic Hindu model, 99% of the time the future husband and wife do not have any say in the marriage, often resulting in one or another marrying against their will. Secondly, the traditional Hindu system advocates the use of the dowry where the father of the bride must pay exorbitant sums of money to the husband's family. In addition, an extremely heavy emphasis is placed on only marrying within one's caste. Finally, in all cases of nuptial agreements, the whole proposition of marriage is seen as one occasion where the father of the bride is "donating" his daughter to the boy's family. All these Hindu religious dogmas Baba has strongly condemned so every Ananda Margii is quite aware about these social ills. Even then, the traditional Indian system creates marriages that mostly aim for the welfare of the child, which is far more than the crude western dating process can claim. Still however, neither east nor west can hold a candle to the sublime approach of Ananda Marga. And certainly it is only a matter before all will follow our sentient society building model of forming marriages. So we need things to be proper in the practical sphere, lest everyone think that ours is also just one faulty, manipulative way.
Baba has given the system in AM for responsible parties such as the parents and family acaryas-- not sannyasis-- to be deeply involved in arranging suitable marriages. They help ensure that marriages are not just based on crude physical attraction, but rather on a whole range of social variables such as one's personality, profession, financial means, education, family background, and, of course, one's adherence to 16 Points. By this wide-ranging approach, we can best ensure that the marriage will provide a stable and sentient environment for raising children where both males and females have equal rights. And of course, no marriage can move ahead without the mutual consent of both the 'to-be' husband and wife. In a nutshell this is our AM system: Proper guidance, no dowry, and thorough consideration of physical, psychic, and spiritual well-being.
Unfortunately, things are not moving in a pretty direction with regards to our AM marriage system, as you will soon see. First let us examine the field. As our AM is still relatively new, it is not that in each and every block and village there is suitable match for marriage making. Even in Delhi sector, often margii families search far and wide for the best possible spouse. And in that way, various Dadas and a few Didis have stepped onto the scene-- and are rigging things in their personal favour. Because Dadas and Didis travel all throughout the sector so they are aware about many more marriage candidates than the family people. So family margiis have come to rely on various WTs to help find a suitable match. Ultimately, all families want someone established in 16 Points, financially stable, intelligent and educated, physically appropriate etc. So it is a competitive market. Families have numerous demands which the Dadas are well aware about. And, at the same time, margii families are anxious to get a proper marriage arranged. So what happens, some acaryas have entered into the 'marriage making business'. They noticed the need and exploited it. In essence for a fee, various Dadas will become a broker or advocate for the family, especially for the girl's side. That means the margii family will pay that Dada to find a match. The family's intention is basically pure as they are concerned to make a proper marriage, which is not easy to do. And some Dada's have turned this into a lucrative money making venture. Because already Indian families are accustomed to paying a dowry-- but this does not exist in AM per se. So when paying a dowry is not a factor, the family is willing to pay a Dada to 'watch out' for their needs. And some or more Dadas have made it their profession to become marriage brokers. And this creates hell all around.
When some marriage broker Dadas are just in it for the money, then they are no longer impartial guides in the marriage making process. They have a distinct self-interest based on their financial gain. For that reason they haggle and barter to make marriages not for the success of the marriage but for their own business interest. For instance suppose there is a suitable margii girl in Kerala yet that family has not paid a broker Dada anything, then there is no way that Dada will help out in arranging her marriage, even if he knows of a perfect match. This type of vendetta is going on. And by that way many highly suitable margii daughters are sitting for ages and ages waiting to get married but to no avail. Because Wts are not bringing any male candidates in their contact. And in the end it often happens that the margii girl's family will get frustrated and she may just marry a non-margii boy. Or so many other factors may take place. Let's say for instance a marriage candidate from Bengal is ready to marry a boy from Gujurat. And all families involved are approving and all the factors look good. But if a Dada has received payment from a third family and they are interested in having their girl marry that same margii boy from Gujurat, then that marriage broker Dada will hastily intercede and advocate strongly for his candidate. That Dada might even spread nasty rumours about and condemn the other female party. All because that Dada is greedy to collect his 10 thousand or 20 thousand Rupee payment from his margii client. This is the screwy way things are working and as you might imagine there are an infinite number of scenarios that can take place where a Wt might manipulate the scene in order to collect his payment. They might spread rumours, threaten, destroy a potential marriage, and even arrange an improper marriage. There is no end to their tricks etc. All for their own individual profit. So marriage brokering for financial gain is one point that is threatening the sanctity of our AM marriage system.
Then there is also the matter of political gain. Let's take one well known 'hypothetical' case. Suppose there is one margii girl from Bihar living in Delhi and there is one margii boy from Vishakapatnam. And all factors are pointing towards a proper marriage and both marriage candidates are interested. Even then various Dadas like Citsvarupananda might poke their nose for various selfish reasons. Because the girl's family is not supporting his groupist stand. For that political reason, then a Dada like Citsvarupananda might jump into the situation and try to turn the boy against that girl. To that end the Dada might spread all kinds of misinformation about the girl in order to ruin her dignity in the eyes of that boy. Or that Dada might threaten the boy's family that they will not be allowed in dharmacakra because their girl is marrying some alleged protester or defector etc. This type of thing could and does happen. Because various Dadas have their own selfish agenda in making marriages for their own political gain.
Although both the western and eastern worlds are badly in need of an exemplary model of marriage making, and although Baba has given the perfect system, in today's AM society we are not able to project the proper example to the society. Not because we do not have sufficient or proper marriage candidates. That is not the problem. Rather various sannyasis, who should not even be involved in marriage making, stick their fingers into the soup for their own gain. Such Dadas have a nose for a profit and politicking and they know how to seize hold of the advantage. And tragically, this dirty tactic they have imposed on our AM marriage system. Of course, all along there are many good Wts who are sincerely doing their duty. So on them I wish to cast no blame, rather appreciation. But to date many margii families have been befooled, harmed, and cheated by such marriage broker Dadas, who taint the image of all workers, sadly enough. All in all, there is some awareness about this entire matter, but due to the nature of the situation, various Dadas are continuing on in their marriage brokering business. And the results are not at all good. As a family, as a community, as a society, margiis and workers around the globe should be wholly aware of what is going on. Because society building is an integral feature for sustaining and expanding our Marga, yet when the very essence of this system is being tainted by some greedy Dadas, then that is indeed cause for alarm. Let us resolve this problem at the earliest. It is certainly as pressing as the current group clash because if the institution for bringing margii children is in question, then what is more urgent than that.
By Baba's grace, with the help of all we will be able to restore the dignity, integrity, and dharma to our AM marriage system. Baba says, "A decision for marriage should be taken with full consideration of one’s physical, mental, and financial conditions and environmental circumstances. No one should exert pressure in the matter of marriage. Marriage is not a hindrance to dharma sa'dhana'; marriage is a dharmic ceremony." (CC-1) Namaskar, Tribhuvan
*************************************** Fate of Egotistical People
Baba says, "It is only when the human beings, become puffed up with vanity and misuse the power granted to them by Parama Purus'a, that He steals everything from them. Hence, He is called Darpaha'rii - the stealer of vanity...Vain people suffer a similar fate when their vanity is destroyed as the balloon faces when its air is let out. But, does Parama Purus'a snatch away everything from everyone? No, He takes away only when the unit beings try to create obstructions in the flow of His creation." (APH-4, p.247)

Re: Why Didis Must Carry a Trishul

Date: 04 May 2009 12:18:46 -0000 From: "Maya Devii" To: Subject: Re: Why Didis Must Carry a Trishul Baba
Namaskar, After reading the letter about why Didis must carry a trishul (trident), a few of us discussed the situation and came up with these points. (Note: The original letter of this series is available here for your easy reference.)
Everything Baba has done was totally revolutionary at the time, including the creation of female wholetimers. Back then, in India, females were not allowed out of the house. So to have wholetimer Didis moving openly around the society was quite revolutionary. Many crude and dogmatic people did not like the idea that AM was creating female wholetimers, hence our Didis needed a way to protect themselves. Many say that is also why our Didis are required to carry a trishul. This was a way for them to defend themselves against anti-social elements. Of course, all Baba's teachings have lasting significance. What was needed 30 years ago is most applicable today as well. Perhaps today, more Indian ladies are allowed out of the house, but there continues to be more crimes against women - in the form of rape, domestic violence, and street crimes. As materialism grows more and more in India, women are looked upon & honoured less as mothers and viewed more as mere objects of sexual enjoyment.
Given the overall social and sexual environment, where Hollywood and Bollywood portray women as thing for male gratification, it is quite important for Didis all over the globe to carry a weapon. Because men are constantly being bombarded with lustful images and they become prone to committing sexual crimes. It happens - both inside and outside AMPS. A trishul then is a weapon which can act as a deterrent. Of course we do not want our Didis to have to stab anyone. But the greater point is that when the public has knowledge that our Didis carry a trishul, then crude people will be less inclined to attack our Didis. Because those crude elements understand that our Didis are not just an easy target - they move around with a trishul. So this deterrent factor is solid reason why Didis must carry a trishul.
As materialism spreads, females are looked upon more and more as sexual objects. So even though women have more economic and social opportunity than before, they are under greater threat of attack. In such an environment, protection is needed. Everyone has the right to protect themselves and our Didis should use this right. They should not be easy targets or susceptible to an attack, whether it be a sexual attacker or someone trying to grab their money. Our Didis need to be prepared. As stated in the first letter, we women are not as physically strong as men. In other realms, we are certainly equal or even more developed and mightier, but not in the crude physical sphere. In that case we must be ready. Having a trishul is a great deterrent. It will prevent many an attack. And of course if an attacker does strike. Then our Didis will be ready; they will not be defenseless or become victims. With tantric spirit they will retaliate. I also like the idea (as stated in the first letter) of our Didis learning judo or karate or some other form of self-defense. That is also quite positive. So those are the things I wished to add - look forward to hearing from others. Sincerely, Maya Devii

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