Date: Sat, 17 Dec 2011 17:39:06 -0000
To: am-global@earthlink.net
From: Jawaharlal (Jawaharlal_T@banknet...>
Subject: My Story: How Omni-Loving Baba Attracted Me
Baba
To: am-global@earthlink.net
From: Jawaharlal (Jawaharlal_T@banknet...>
Subject: My Story: How Omni-Loving Baba Attracted Me
Baba
== BABA STORY: HOW OMNI-LOVING
BABA ATTRACTED ME ==
Note: The below is a first-hand account
from Ramchandra, an extremely senior margii from Jamalpur.
Namaskar,
In my youth I studied in the same
school as Baba but was much younger that He was. Baba graduated
long before I entered.
The school was in Rampur colony (Jamalpur). When I attended high school my classmates and I used to pass by the newly constructed Jamalpur ashram. While walking by, my friends and I would keep quiet. We thought this was some type of magician's house where people got turned into animals. That was the type of fear complex we had. We were terrified of the place.
I do not know where that idea came from, but that was the way it was those days. We were totally scared and thought it best to keep distance from Ananda Marga as margiis could captivate people and bring them into their fold.
As I grew older, I became more curious about Ananda Marga. I was intrigued and wanted to know more. I wanted to go inside - though admittedly I still had a lot of fear about AM.
So here is what I used to do.
When Baba was not present, I would seek out those margiis coming from afar and talk to them about their experiences with Baba and AM. Because those days, disciples and new people were regularly coming from longer distances to see Him. In reply to my queries, these bhaktas were telling me of their experiences. One common theme I heard again and again was, "Baba knows everything."
In this way, I would gather news, insights and stories. That was my way of learning more about Baba and Ananda Marga without going too close due to my fear. Gradually I became more and more interested, though I remained fearful as well.
When talking to them, margiis would ask me, "How long have you been doing sadhana?"; "Are you practicing regularly?". I just remained quiet.
After some time I came to the conclusion that I should learn and practice sadhana but not maintain any connection with Ananda Marga due to fear and public shame. I did not want to be known as someone who got brainwashed by AM. So I concluded I would do sadhana in my home yet keep distance from AMPS organisation in the public. I also decided that I would not come for PC, nor would I see Baba. That was my plan.
So I took initiation and started doing sadhana and margiis invited and encouraged me to attend dharmacakra as well. I told, "No. I will not attend dharmacakra nor will I go to general darshan."
One day out of curiosity I went to talk with a few newcomers about their experiences. Suddenly people started shouting, "Baba has come! Baba has come!" Then 20 - 30 people stood and formed one line. They stood there waiting. A small crowd passed by including one simple dressed man.
(Note: In my mind I was thinking that Baba was a monk. So when people started saying Parama Pita Baba Ki - Jai!!, then I was looking for a monk with matted locks, a tiger skin, and ashes on his body. But I did not see anyone like that. I had never seen Baba before so I could not recognise Him. Others were doing pranam but I did not do pranam even though I was also in that line.)
After a few minutes, after the crowd had gone inside I asked, "Who is Baba? Where is He and what does He look like?"
In my mind I was thinking that Baba must look like one of those monks with matted locks and a long beard, armed with a trident and wearing earrings. This was the image I had conjured up in my mind about Him. I thought He must be like that. Yet the person who just passed by was a simple, ordinary looking man.
All this was going on in my mind when I asked, "Who is Baba?"
Those around me exclaimed, "That was Baba."
Then I thought that He does not seem to be so dangerous. So I went inside and attended general darshan. I sat in the back.
It was very surprising for me that Baba was not scary at all. He did not abuse or punish anyone. Mostly He spoke on various topics. After attending this first time, I felt more attracted.
At that point I thought that I should do sadhana very regularly and go see Baba from time to time in the ashram. But outside I should maintain my own existence and not be associated with Ananda Marga. Otherwise it would be very humiliating to be known as a margii. After all, those days the public image of AM was not very favourable.
During that time of my life, it was also my manner to visit various religious functions related with all kinds of sadhus and monks of different organisations. One morning an Arya samaj conference was going on. I was aware about it but had already planned to go to the jagrti that day for general darshan. But when I reached the AM ashram I saw that there was a delay. Morning general darshan had not yet started and it did not look like it was going to start soon.
From that spot, I could hear the loudspeaker off in the distance from the Arya Samaj gathering.
I thought that since there was time, I should attend the Arya Samaj function and hear their pravacan. Then later on I would return for Baba's darshan. That was my plan.
When I reached to the Arya Samaj gathering, the monk giving the lecture started abusing Baba and Ananda Marga. Internally I did not at all like what he was saying. Rather I was very much disturbed hearing this fellow abuse AM. I thought that if Baba is Himself God, then He must be listening. I wondered why Baba is not teaching him a lesson - here and now. After all if Baba is the most powerful One and this fellow is abusing the Almighty God, then something should be done. All these thoughts were going on in my mind.
On the one the side I was upset and deeply disturbed by hearing this man's harsh words, and on the other side I wanted to see how far, how nasty, this speaker would go. So I listened for a little while longer.
Finally after some time I thought I should return to our AM ashram. I was thinking that by now Baba has probably come and it will be time for general darshan.
So I left that Arya samaj conference and started en route to the ashram.
On my way I met up with many margiis. As soon as they saw me they said, "Where were you? Why are you so late general darshan? Baba inquired about you 25 - 30 times. Again and again Baba was repeating, "Why has Ramchandra not come? Why has he not come?". In this way Baba was repeatedly asking about you. So quickly go to the jagrti and see Abhedanandji."
I quickened my pace and hurried that direction.
When I reached nearby the ashram, many others also told, "Ramchandra where were you? Baba asked about you many times."
I hastily ran and saw Dasarth ji standing outside.
Dasarth ji told me, "Baba is calling you; go see Him immediately."
I reached there as quickly as I could.
Dada Abhedananda told me, "Baba is calling you - go in the room, do sastaunga pranam - He will give you PC!"
When I entered I did sastaunga pranam. Baba was very charming. But because I was preoccupied with news of the Arya samaj event, I thought I should tell Baba about it when I got the chance.
I wanted to give Him a full accountt of Arya Samaj conference. I told half a sentence.
Baba said, "You need not worry about that. I know the whole situation. Ramchandra, you need not think about that fellow from Arya Samaj; it is not your duty to give him a lesson. Those who are bad emit bad words from their mouth. Those who are good people will always speak good things. So do not think about taking revenge. According to natural law, nature will take care of this."
Mentally I thought that Baba knows everything.
In that PC, Baba told me so many things about my life which no one else knew. I personally felt that He knew everything about me. My secrets which nobody knows, Baba knew. All I could think is that, "Baba knows everything."
I realised that Baba is Parama Purusa and that He remains always in the mind. What you think He knows, and He is very loving too.
From that day forward my mind was totally transformed and I became very regular in attending all kinds of AM programs. I was always eager to attend.
Now I see that this (my relation with Him) is exclusively due to His grace. He graciously changed my feelings towards Him from being quite distant to extremely personal and close.
Namaskar,
Ramchandra
By the way, I entered AM in the 1960's. Internally I wanted to be an Ananda Margii and was attracted to Baba's magnetic personality. I was initiated, began practicing sadhana regularly, and ultimately was blessed to receive PC with Baba.
The school was in Rampur colony (Jamalpur). When I attended high school my classmates and I used to pass by the newly constructed Jamalpur ashram. While walking by, my friends and I would keep quiet. We thought this was some type of magician's house where people got turned into animals. That was the type of fear complex we had. We were terrified of the place.
I do not know where that idea came from, but that was the way it was those days. We were totally scared and thought it best to keep distance from Ananda Marga as margiis could captivate people and bring them into their fold.
MY CURIOSITY GROWS
As I grew older, I became more curious about Ananda Marga. I was intrigued and wanted to know more. I wanted to go inside - though admittedly I still had a lot of fear about AM.
So here is what I used to do.
When Baba was not present, I would seek out those margiis coming from afar and talk to them about their experiences with Baba and AM. Because those days, disciples and new people were regularly coming from longer distances to see Him. In reply to my queries, these bhaktas were telling me of their experiences. One common theme I heard again and again was, "Baba knows everything."
In this way, I would gather news, insights and stories. That was my way of learning more about Baba and Ananda Marga without going too close due to my fear. Gradually I became more and more interested, though I remained fearful as well.
When talking to them, margiis would ask me, "How long have you been doing sadhana?"; "Are you practicing regularly?". I just remained quiet.
MY PLAN OF STARTING SADHANA
After some time I came to the conclusion that I should learn and practice sadhana but not maintain any connection with Ananda Marga due to fear and public shame. I did not want to be known as someone who got brainwashed by AM. So I concluded I would do sadhana in my home yet keep distance from AMPS organisation in the public. I also decided that I would not come for PC, nor would I see Baba. That was my plan.
So I took initiation and started doing sadhana and margiis invited and encouraged me to attend dharmacakra as well. I told, "No. I will not attend dharmacakra nor will I go to general darshan."
WHO IS BABA?
One day out of curiosity I went to talk with a few newcomers about their experiences. Suddenly people started shouting, "Baba has come! Baba has come!" Then 20 - 30 people stood and formed one line. They stood there waiting. A small crowd passed by including one simple dressed man.
(Note: In my mind I was thinking that Baba was a monk. So when people started saying Parama Pita Baba Ki - Jai!!, then I was looking for a monk with matted locks, a tiger skin, and ashes on his body. But I did not see anyone like that. I had never seen Baba before so I could not recognise Him. Others were doing pranam but I did not do pranam even though I was also in that line.)
After a few minutes, after the crowd had gone inside I asked, "Who is Baba? Where is He and what does He look like?"
In my mind I was thinking that Baba must look like one of those monks with matted locks and a long beard, armed with a trident and wearing earrings. This was the image I had conjured up in my mind about Him. I thought He must be like that. Yet the person who just passed by was a simple, ordinary looking man.
All this was going on in my mind when I asked, "Who is Baba?"
Those around me exclaimed, "That was Baba."
Then I thought that He does not seem to be so dangerous. So I went inside and attended general darshan. I sat in the back.
It was very surprising for me that Baba was not scary at all. He did not abuse or punish anyone. Mostly He spoke on various topics. After attending this first time, I felt more attracted.
At that point I thought that I should do sadhana very regularly and go see Baba from time to time in the ashram. But outside I should maintain my own existence and not be associated with Ananda Marga. Otherwise it would be very humiliating to be known as a margii. After all, those days the public image of AM was not very favourable.
ATTENDING ARYA SAMAJ CONFERENCE
During that time of my life, it was also my manner to visit various religious functions related with all kinds of sadhus and monks of different organisations. One morning an Arya samaj conference was going on. I was aware about it but had already planned to go to the jagrti that day for general darshan. But when I reached the AM ashram I saw that there was a delay. Morning general darshan had not yet started and it did not look like it was going to start soon.
From that spot, I could hear the loudspeaker off in the distance from the Arya Samaj gathering.
I thought that since there was time, I should attend the Arya Samaj function and hear their pravacan. Then later on I would return for Baba's darshan. That was my plan.
When I reached to the Arya Samaj gathering, the monk giving the lecture started abusing Baba and Ananda Marga. Internally I did not at all like what he was saying. Rather I was very much disturbed hearing this fellow abuse AM. I thought that if Baba is Himself God, then He must be listening. I wondered why Baba is not teaching him a lesson - here and now. After all if Baba is the most powerful One and this fellow is abusing the Almighty God, then something should be done. All these thoughts were going on in my mind.
On the one the side I was upset and deeply disturbed by hearing this man's harsh words, and on the other side I wanted to see how far, how nasty, this speaker would go. So I listened for a little while longer.
Finally after some time I thought I should return to our AM ashram. I was thinking that by now Baba has probably come and it will be time for general darshan.
So I left that Arya samaj conference and started en route to the ashram.
"BABA IS CALLING YOU"
On my way I met up with many margiis. As soon as they saw me they said, "Where were you? Why are you so late general darshan? Baba inquired about you 25 - 30 times. Again and again Baba was repeating, "Why has Ramchandra not come? Why has he not come?". In this way Baba was repeatedly asking about you. So quickly go to the jagrti and see Abhedanandji."
I quickened my pace and hurried that direction.
When I reached nearby the ashram, many others also told, "Ramchandra where were you? Baba asked about you many times."
I hastily ran and saw Dasarth ji standing outside.
Dasarth ji told me, "Baba is calling you; go see Him immediately."
I reached there as quickly as I could.
Dada Abhedananda told me, "Baba is calling you - go in the room, do sastaunga pranam - He will give you PC!"
MY PC WITH BABA
When I entered I did sastaunga pranam. Baba was very charming. But because I was preoccupied with news of the Arya samaj event, I thought I should tell Baba about it when I got the chance.
I wanted to give Him a full accountt of Arya Samaj conference. I told half a sentence.
Baba said, "You need not worry about that. I know the whole situation. Ramchandra, you need not think about that fellow from Arya Samaj; it is not your duty to give him a lesson. Those who are bad emit bad words from their mouth. Those who are good people will always speak good things. So do not think about taking revenge. According to natural law, nature will take care of this."
Mentally I thought that Baba knows everything.
In that PC, Baba told me so many things about my life which no one else knew. I personally felt that He knew everything about me. My secrets which nobody knows, Baba knew. All I could think is that, "Baba knows everything."
CONCLUDING THOUGHTS
I realised that Baba is Parama Purusa and that He remains always in the mind. What you think He knows, and He is very loving too.
From that day forward my mind was totally transformed and I became very regular in attending all kinds of AM programs. I was always eager to attend.
Now I see that this (my relation with Him) is exclusively due to His grace. He graciously changed my feelings towards Him from being quite distant to extremely personal and close.
Namaskar,
Ramchandra
Note 1: MY SHORT BIO
By the way, I entered AM in the 1960's. Internally I wanted to be an Ananda Margii and was attracted to Baba's magnetic personality. I was initiated, began practicing sadhana regularly, and ultimately was blessed to receive PC with Baba.
