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Are You Scaring Your Child

From: Linda Jordan
Date: 31 Oct 2012 22:38:16 -0000
Subject: Are You Scaring Your Child



Every parent wishes to raise a healthy, vibrant child who grows up to be physically able, mentally sharp, and spiritually awakened.

Yet, in nearly each and every land, community, and even family, concerned parents and / or social norms undermine the right and proper growth of the child.

The mind is our greatest treasure - and the child's mind is so tender and impressionable - yet commonly a child's mind is stricken by fears needlessly, which hamper their growth and development. Such undue fears ruin the psychic peace of the child, today and far into the future.

As parents, as well-wishers of society, as educators, and as sadhakas, we should all be critically aware of this issue.


In North America and parts of Europe, the holiday of Halloween is celebrated, generally around Oct 30, 31, & Nov 1. Kids dress up in scary costumes, participate in haunted houses, hear ghost stories, and engage in other fear-based activities. The underlying theme is fear.

Today's filmmakers and authors play off a similar sentiment: excitement through fear. There is an entire corporate business model centered around this. All geared toward instilling the thrill of fear into the mind - in order to turn a profit.

There are so many ways that the entertainment industry and social festivals introduce the fear factor into a child's mind: ghosts, serial killers, scary creatures from outer space, spooky noises, and in other ways. People even get a sort of sadistic happiness from scaring young kids. Fear gets imposed in so many ways.

As adults we may say, "What's the big deal, they're just kids, they're having fun, let them be, they'll grow up and understand the truth."

But it is not like that. The human psyche and mind are very fragile. In various discourses, Baba points out when a child experiences fear then they are scared at that initial moment, and far into the future as well. When they are young and become scared, they suffer from paranoia, nightmares, and other psychic ailments such as crying out in the middle of the night, or being scared to walk alone even in daylight. All because the child was terrified. But it does not end there. That child's mind will be riddled and encumbered by those unfounded fears for their entire life.

This happens to nearly everyone - to some or more degree.

Because the child thinks those monsters, ghosts, and goblins are real. For them it is not something imaginary or temporary. Children are unable remove those fears. Those fears - based on imposed false ideas - make a deep impression on the child's psyche, and remain with them for ages and ages. That is Baba's distinct warning.

Thus we should think a thousand times before exposing our children to horror films, ghost stories, and even seemingly innocuous, kid-centered festivals like Halloween. All these things are bound to burden, or even ruin, a child's psyche.


The accumulation of fears debilitates the human mind - not just in youth but lifelong. Baba tells us that fear - caused by family, social and religious dogmas - will stick with a person for life.

A person may suffer from a lack of courage and become afraid of the dark - forever, far into their adult years. Or a person may not even like to remain in the house alone, even as an adult.

And not only that, but due to imposed fear, a person suffer from a low self-esteem and lack the necessary courage to confidently answer questions in a job interview. Before the interview they may even hide in the bathroom - too scared to walk inside. This is not just a matter of being nervous, rather a deep-seated fear that shakes their bones.

Thus the fears that get imposed on a child's psyche are baggage they carry for life - in all sorts of shape and sizes, in all kinds of ways. They suffer as a child and become permanently shackled and never grow properly. So we should be extremely careful never to impose such fears on a child.


Here Baba scientifically shows how the fear complex takes root in the human mind and becomes part of a person's living reality.

Baba says, "Suppose in daytime you are in a lonely place. It may or may not be a lonely place. Suppose in daytime you are alone in a big house, and some people told you that there is a ghost – “Ghost… ghost… ghost.” You heard it. The acoustic wave touched your mind, touched the subconscious portion of your mind, and after that you are told, “You know, Mr. X, there is a ghost in this house.” And you are Mr. X. “There is a ghost in this house.” All the nerve fibres fail to function. What will happen then? Just touch the conscious level of your mind, and as an extro-objective creation, as an external reflection of your very ectoplasmic stuff, you will see a ghost. And what sort of ghost will you see? The description of a ghost that you read in your books or you heard from your granny, “A ghost is like this.” In broad daylight you will see the ghost." (Ananda Vacanamrtam-12)

Thus what to speak of even small children, an adult's mind can also be polluted by fear such that those false and imagined fears come to life for them.



At the top of the left side-bar of the blogsite,, there is an audio file titled, "Baba's Warning About Infusing Fear in Children". Please visit the site and listen to it. Here is the transcription and translation of that sound file.


Ghrna', shaunka', bhaya, aet'a' holo pa'pa, jab tumi jakhan chotto chile, tumi ka'uke ghrna' korte na'. Oi pare toma'r prativeshiira' bandhura' ba'r'iir lokera', toma'ke shikhiye chilo ki, "Aeta korte na'in, aeta ghrnya jinish." To, toma’ke bhaya shikhiye che, lajja' shikhiye che, a'r seit'a shes'a paryanta toma'r rauna [lege] geche. Choto chele du'dha kha'cche na'. Ba'r'iir lokera' bolle, "Oi juju a'che, ta'la ga'che juju a'che, dhare nebe." Tumi jujur bhaye khiye nile du'dha. Ta'r pare, sei tumi jakhane du vatsa'rer na'iny, tumi hoye gele ba'isa vatsa'rer, takhano sei maner jujuta' roye gelo. Kakhano-kakhano svapnetei juju ke dekhbe. Ekla' hote giye jujur bhaya buka kenpe ut'abe. Era holo ki? Na, ca'inpiye deoya ba'ndha'na. Ai, this type of bondage or these bondages are known as pa'shas.


Hatred, doubt, fear are sin. When you were small, you did not hate anybody. After that your neighbors, friends and family members taught you, "This is what hate is, don't do such a thing." They taught you fear, they taught you shyness, and in the end those interactions stained your mind in that color. The small babe did not want to drink the milk. So in order to get the baby to drink the milk, the family members said, "Look a ghost is on the palm tree - it will come and get you if you do not drink your milk." So you drank the milk out of fear of being caught by the ghost. After many years, when you were no longer two, but became twenty-two years of age, that mental ghost still existed in your mind. From time to time in your dreams you will still see that ghost. In consequence, while remaining in a lonely place your heart will become startled and frozen due to fear of that ghost. What is this? Imposed bondage. This type of bondage or these bondages are known as pa'shas.


Remember, one should not inject any type of fear complex into the child's mind, otherwise that youth will suffer from that fear complex their entire life - to varying degrees. That will be very bad. Instead of being brave and strong, that child will be meek, frightened, and cowardly.

As Ananda Margiis, we should follow Guru's teaching and never inject any type of fear complex on our young ones. We should seek out entertainment that is based on tales of bravery - not the imposition of fear.


"Tumi saba'r bha'loba'sa' peyecho..."   (P.S. 1383)


Baba, everyone loves You. And You receive everyone's heartfelt love. You look upon all in the same way; You view everyone equally - with no differentiation. You always think about everyone's all-round welfare. You are concerned with one and all; everyone is Yours. 

In the burning heat when life is becoming unbearable, You shower us with Your grace. You take away all our pains and sufferings. Baba, You are ever-gracious. When the heart starts bleeding due to the repeated blows of different negative samskaras from the present, past, and future, then You saturate those suffering hearts with the divine nectar of Your love. In that way, You graciously take away all the problems in the showering of Your divine compassion. On the dark amavasya night when it is pouring rain all around, even in that hour You bring effulgence through the medium of the firefly. Like this, You provide the solution to each and every situation. It is Your grace.

Baba, You love all and You know how to love. You give utmost importance to human life. And everyone is looking towards the path of Your arrival. Those who are crying and suffering, You have given them shelter at Your lotus feet. Baba, You are granting boons and blessings to everyone. You are grace personified... 

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