Baba Story: My Realisation in PC

Date: Sat, 03 Mar 2012 19:18:33 +0530
To: am-global@earthlink.net
From: RM SINGH
Subject: Baba Story: My Realisation in PC

Baba

== BABA STORY: MY REALISATION IN PC ==

Note: The following is the first-hand account of Shrii Vibhuti Narayan Singh, a long-time margii who worked as a district officer in the Indian government. He is a very active and important margii who arranged the land for the Samastipur jagrti - still today that jagrti sits on that lap. Everybody knows he is a good devotee of Baba.

Namaskar,
I was initiated in 1978 in Samastipur (Bihar) and on various occasions Baba blessed me. By His grace I had deep faith in Him.

In those days, I would only see Baba when He gave general darshan. I used to hear stories from various margiis that Baba knows everything and that when sadhakas go for personal contact (PC), dharma samiiksa, and reporting, then He punishes them for their mistakes in order to rectify them etc. I had so much fear about this that I dared not go and have PC with Baba.

FIRST TIME GOING FOR PC

Some of my close margii friends tried to get me to go for PC and I always refused their invitations and requests. Ultimately on one occasion, they dragged me into the line to get PC. I was standing in the queue to see Baba. I was extremely nervous and frightened about what might happen. Without telling anyone I Ieft.

When my margii friends heard this they tried to encourage and inspire me to go back for PC to get Baba's blessing. They valiantly attempted to infuse me with the strength and courage, but I refused. 

SECOND TIME GOING FOR PC

One day they again took me to see Baba. By that time I had the realisation that Baba is Parama Purusa because He appeared before me once in the form of Lord Shiva with His tiger skin, matted locks and trishul (trident). That story I will narrate another time.

So I had deep faith in Baba; it was only out of fear that I did not want to go close to Him in PC etc.

On this second occasion I was again in queue for PC. In total, there were 13 people in the line; and I was 7th. As those ahead of me came out from their PC with Baba, I carefully watched their facial expressions and acutely listened to their tales. I asked each of them about their experience.

There were a few themes that they all told:
1. Baba knows everything and one cannot hide anything from Him;
2. They got beaten by Baba for their past misdeeds and sins.

This much everybody told as they emerged from PC that day.

Hearing this I started repeating Baba's name. I was standing in line for PC, yet mentally asking Him, "O' Lord, You are God incarnate and my only desire is that my number should not be called this time for PC. That is my only request. Being the all powerful Divine Entity, please grace me."

Actually I would have run away like I did last time, but my friends were keenly watching to ensure I did not leave. I could not run away this time. For this reason, I was mentally requesting Baba to relieve me and not call my number.

As I was getting closer to the front of the line, my fear multiplied exponentially. At the same time my request intensified: "Baba, please have mercy - do not call my number."

The line was getting shorter. Then the person directly before me entered for PC. I was next in line. My fear had reached extreme heights. I was absolutely terrified and I was mentally requesting Baba again and again not to call me.

The person in front of me emerged from Baba's room - his PC was over. The margii walked by me. I was next. PA Dada stood in front of me. I was certain he was going to grab me for PC. I continued my pleadings to Baba not to call me for PC.

Suddenly, PA Dada came directly to where I was waiting and announced, "Baba will not conduct any more PC's today."

Lo and behold, by His grace, my number never came! I was next in line and now suddenly I did not have to go in for PC. I was overjoyed and indebted to Baba.

I thought, "O' Baba, You heard my request. You are so gracious."

I was completely overwhelmed with emotion. I was so happy that Baba fulfilled my desire. That was the last day of the program so it was certain I would not get PC.

That moment my belief that Baba is Parama Purusa became even more strengthened. I became more dedicated. I thought everything was perfect. But that feeling did not remain with me forever.

STILL TODAY I AM REPENTANT

Now 25 years later, when I think about the past, I feel repentant. Why was I so ignorant that I did not go for PC and dharma samiiksa. I had the opportunity but I did not go.

I know my repentance will remain with me so long as I am on this earth - my whole life. Baba graced me in so many ways but this episode of PC is a big, empty vacuum in my mind. How was I too frightened to go for PC. This feeling comes again and again in my mind: Why did I not go? I missed the opportunity. Every morning and every evening I think about this - it plagues me.

At this very moment I repent.

In closing, please allow me to share that although you may not call this my story about PC, but I call it the story about my PC.

Namaskar,
Vibhuti Deva

REFLECTION

The above heart-felt story recounted by Shrii Vibhuti Narayan Singh contains many gems and jewels for us all.

First, Guru satisfies all requests. Best is that one should not ask for anything as only He knows what is best for us. If Parama Purusa asks us again and again, "What do you want?" Then the sadhaka should say, "I want You", "I want parabhakti", or "O Lord, please lead my intellect unto the path of Supreme Benevolence."

Baba says, "It is better not to ask Parama Puruśa for anything. Without cherishing any desire in one’s mind, one should proceed towards Him. If at all one cannot do that, then one may pray to Parama Puruśa, “Oh Lord, lead my intellect along the path of benevolence. Keep my intellect united with the Supreme Benevolence.”" (Ananda Vacanamrtam - 4, Remain United with the Supreme Benevolence)

Second, in contrast, if we ask Him for anything then He will certainly satisfy our request. In that case we will repent, as happened with Shrii Vibhuti Narayan Singh. No doubt the temptation comes to ask something but one must resist.

Third, if we ask for something then so much time gets spent in satisfying that request. That is the way it goes. That is what happened with Singhji. In the above case  he was about to get PC but his whole longing was not to get PC. And that is what happened - his desire was fulfilled - he did not get PC. And now he is repentant and he realises his mistake.

Fourth, he should have asked: "O' Lord, I want to come close to You. Please be gracious and remove all the fears and obstacles that are in the way." With that request his concerns would have vanished and he would have gotten PC. But he chose differently and now he repents.

The conclusion is that humans ask for all kinds of things and thereby invite so many problems. No matter the temptation, one should never ask anything from Him; rather use the time in singing His name.

Namaskar,
Ramdhan Deva

OUR SANSKRIT NAMES

Little by little we should all be accustomed to following Baba's below guideline and begin at least by using Deva when we sign our emails.

Baba says, "The word deva should be suffixed to the name...the more the usage of deva as a title, the better it is. The Sanskrit name should be used in all worldly dealings." (Caryacarya-1)

Note 1: WHAT TO ASK FOR

Here Baba guides us what we should ask for from Parama Purusa.

Baba says, "So the devotees with kevalá bhakti in their hearts do not ask Parama Puruśa for anything. Even if Parama Puruśa proposes to give them this or that, the aspirant will say, “No, Lord, I don’t want anything but You. I want to remain with you. What You are offering to me is a trivial thing; I want You and You alone, nothing else.”" (Subhasita Samgraha - 14, Yoga, Tantra, and Kevalá Bhakti)

PRABHAT SAMGIITA

PS Intro: Progress occurs in waves, via periods of speed and pause. In the spiritual field, sometimes the mind is very lucid and sometimes quite dry. In Prabhat Samgiita, the dry mind is represented by the hot, barren summer and the lucid mind is expressed by the lush, rainy season. This following composition is the song of the rainy season.

In this rainy season, new plants and grasses have started growing. The lost beauty of the forest is slowly returning back; the barrenness of summer is gone. Now everything is getting decorated in a new way.

The sadhaka is asking that invisible, Divine Entity, "Who has come and changed the entire scene of the forest?". By all these changes it is clear that someone has come - all these changes reflect the arrival of one Entity. The dress of that Entity is expressed by the lush green vegetation.


"Ta'l tama'liira vanero ma'jhe ke go ele nava sa'je..." (PS 3004)

Purport:

In the palm and tama'l woods, in this rainy season, Who are You Who has come in new dress and form? It is Your grace that You have allowed me to come close to You. You have captivated my heart. Opening the door of the mind, You have filled me with devotion and engaged me in Your work - in Your sadhana, in Your service.

The earth is inundated with rain. The puddles, small ponds, and lakes [1] have become one. There is water all around. The dust of summer is gone. My vibrated mind is filled with You - in Your ideation, in Your thought, in Your meditation - in the atmosphere of that nandan [2] aroma.

The sky and the underworld have become one in their vibration, both are dancing in the same rhythm. Now, the sky is no longer just the sky and the underworld is not simply the underworld - both have become divine. All are dancing in one rhythm - in the rhythm of Parama Purusa. All these expressions have become a vibrated necklace of that one effulgence - yearning for an iota of Your divine grace.

O' Lord, please shower Your causeless grace on me...


NOTES FOR PRABHAT SAMGIITA #3004:

[1] Lake: One of the terms in Samskrta for lake is hrd. Baba has clearly mentioned this in His grammar books. But those who are confused wrongly translate hrd as "heart". In that case their attempt at translation only serves to mislead the reader.

[2] Nandan: In the above song nandan refers to that beautiful attracting aroma. When human beings come in contact with certain expressions they derive much happiness. It is because of that derived happiness that they seek out those objects.

That is why various tourists or nature-lovers visit various places: Because they feel attracted. In return, they wish to give pleasure as well. They donate money or work to protect and keep those places pristine. The goal is to derive and give back pleasure.

Those engaged in nandan vijiana are attracted to various worldly things, knowingly or unknowingly: Art, dance, drama, music, paintings - these are all expressions of nandan vijiana, or aesthetic science. Some other examples including decorating one's hair, landscaping, beautifying the home or office, and sightseeing (going to museums and art galleries etc).

In the field of kiirtan also, nandan vijiana plays a role. In the initial stage, devotees do kiirtan to derive pleasure - that is nandan vijiana. When their mind becomes ensconced in Parama Purusa then their sole desire is to give pleasure to Him. Then their mind is above nandan vijiana and it is in mohan vijiana, or supra-aesthetic science.

So the idea is that in nandan vijiana the goal is to give and get pleasure whereas in mohan vijiana the sole desire is to give pleasure to Parama Purusa. Nandnan vijiana starts with worldly expressions and builds up to the entry into spiritual life.

Those running after purely physical things are in a lower state of mind. When their sentient factor is awakened and the mind is more elevated, they lose interest in physical crude pleasures and they seek out psychic pleasure such as creative writing (novels or plays), critical thinking (philosophy) , and reading etc.

Those interested in higher aspects nandan (art and music for spirituality), and mohan vijiana (pure kiirtan, sadhana) may overlook lower aspects of nandan vijana (crude movies, pseudo-culture fashion etc).