Re: Domestic Issue: What Will You Do In This Situation?

Subject: Re: Domestic Issue: What Will You Do In This Situation?
Date: Tue, 8 Jan 2013 12:46:10 +1100
From: Marika and George Baumann
To: AM-GLOBAL

Baba

== RE: DOMESTIC ISSUE: WHAT WILL YOU DO IN THIS SITUATION ==

~ Part 2 ~

(Note: This is the second letter in this series;  as it is very short, the first appears in its entirety below. - Eds)

Namaskar,

Of course what the girls did was wrong from both Ananda Marga and ordinary moral perspective. They cheated when they spiked the drinks, which is a form of lying. This is against Satya. Not only that, but they showed disrespect to the parents of one of them, and went against their wishes.

And not only that, but they secretly administered medication to them, which might have caused them real harm had they drank all of it. Where was their love for all creation, not to speak of their love for the parents of one of them?

So there is no doubt that the girls acted in an unethical way when average girls of that age would have been aware that what they did was wrong. Therefore, assuming that these girls are of average social and emotional intelligence, some form of negative consequence for them should flow from this.

In our family, and families we know, if something like this occurred, some significant privilege would certainly be withdrawn, like an exciting holiday cancelled or no computer access for a year. But much more important  is to talk to one-another. If the girls did this out of unthinking teenage silliness or naughtiness, they should be given a stern lecture about thinking before they act, then forgiven if genuine contrition is shown. If there was malice in it, it is much more difficult. It may even involve therapy or mediation (not to be confused with meditation, though that is always good too!). Ideally, direct communication, involving really listening to each other should come first.

Reporting the incident to the police, and what is more,  apparently pressing charges against them is something which  I, as the often unsatisfactory father  of three daughters and a son have never contemplated  or had to contemplate. Nor has my wife. Nor have any of our friends. On the other hand, they never put drugs in our drinks or any equally immature or malicious acts like that. 

Thinking about this particular situation, I would speculate that there must have been a great distance (lack of real connection and communication) between parents and children. Unfortunately being the grown-ups, parents are usually more responsible for this than their children.

The ten o'clock curfew for internet use seems reasonable, but this should normally be relaxed on some occasions, e.g. weekends and school holidays. Maybe the parents were fearful that while they were not watching, the girls might access inappropriate material on the internet. Whether this was a reasonable fear or not in this case, I don't know.

But the fact that the parents went to the police and had the girls charged is immediately disturbing.  Was this the last straw, were the parents at their wits' end trying to discipline or control these unruly children?  Reporting children to police often happens if parents feel physically threatened by their children, which in this case may be justifiable.

Or did they  decide to take this action because they either couldn't (consciously or unconsciously) or didn't want to approach the children and try to have a deeper relationship with them? Many parents are busy and tired, and because they have no time or energy to develop a really loving relationship with their children, they might see the police as another service, like a school or a doctor.

I believe this is a mistake. Being arrested by the police must be a traumatizing experience for young people. Also, these girls, if charged and convicted, may get a criminal record. This would affect their work and other prospects for the rest of their lives.

So my conclusion is that, unless some of the parties are below average intelligence, or affected by drugs including of course alcohol, or the parents felt for some other reason that the relationship with their children had irretrievably broken down, reporting this matter to the police and pressing charges would not be advisable.

All the best,

George.



From: "Sushiila" s.u.bhakti@lab...edu
To: am-global@earthlink.net
Subject: Domestic Issue: What Will You Do In This Situation?
Date: Sun, 06 Jan 2013 11:21:48

Baba

== DOMESTIC ISSUE: WHAT WILL YOU DO IN THIS SITUATION? ==

Namaskar,
Please read the following short article where parents had their teen-aged daughter arrested: “A daughter and her friend allegedly put sleeping pills in the drinks so they could break a rule and use the Internet past 10 p.m.”

According to Ananda Marga philosophy, what is our perspective on this matter? As an Ananda Margii, what you you think should be done in such a circumstance - should the daughter have been arrested?

Awaiting your reply,
Yours in Him,
Sushiila

Girls accused of spiking parents' milkshakes

A daughter and her friend allegedly put sleeping pills in the drinks so they could break a rule and use the Internet past 10 p.m.

Kate Mather, Los Angeles Times
January 4, 2013

Two teenage girls were arrested in Northern California this week after they used sleeping pill-laced milkshakes to drug one girl's parents because they wouldn't let her use the Internet past 10 p.m., police said.

The incident unfolded in Rocklin — about 20 miles northeast of Sacramento — the night of Dec. 28, when the parents fell asleep about an hour after drinking milkshakes their 16-year-old daughter and her 15-year-old friend brought them from a fast food restaurant, Rocklin Police Lt. Lon Milka said Thursday. The parents woke up in the middle of the night feeling "really groggy" with "hangover symptoms," Milka said, but had not been drinking.

When they woke up again the next morning, they still felt "really odd," Milka said, and "figured that something was wrong."

The couple went to the Rocklin police station and picked up $5 drug kits typically used by parents to test their children for drugs, Milka said. After the tests picked up traces of drugs, the parents contacted authorities and took their daughter to the police station.

Investigators later learned that the girls crushed prescription sleeping pills and put them in the milkshakes so the parents would fall asleep and they could use the Internet past the 10 p.m. curfew.

"Mom and Dad had the Internet cut off nightly at 10 p.m.," Milka said. "The daughter wanted to use it past 10 because I guess they're like most teenagers and the Internet is their life."

The parents didn't end up drinking all of the milkshakes because they were "kind of gritty" and "really funny tasting," Milka said.

The girls, whose names were not released because of their ages, were booked on Dec. 31 in Placer County Juvenile Hall on suspicion of conspiracy and willfully mingling a pharmaceutical into food. Milka said it would be up to prosecutors to decide whether charges would be filed.

Milka said it was unclear what websites the girls accessed while the parents were asleep.

"It's the first I've ever heard of it," he said. "Kids are crazy these days."

http://www.latimes.com/news/local/la-me-0104-parents-drugged-20130104,0,6488064.story