A Query About Marriage

Date: 05 Feb 2011 11:43:29 -0000
From: "Acintya  Deva"
To: am-global@earthlink.net
Subject: A Query About Marriage

Baba

                ==  A QUERY ABOUT MARRIAGE  ==

Namaskar,
Is it really true that LFT's must get married? Because many have noticed
how Dadas are highly concerned on this point and they often convince LFT's
to either (a) get married or (b) in straight way those Acaryas inject in
the minds of those LFT's that 'if you want to remain celibate then become
WT'.

Under these circumstances, most of the time ultimately those LFTs do get
married. And by this way gradually our LFT system has gotten ruined or
paralysed. And the reason is obvious: In this modern world, doing social
service work full-time and simultaneously looking after one's unit family
life and caring for the children is not possible.


                 LFT LIFE AND MARRIED LIFE DO NOT MIX

So we have seen that those inspired youths who were engaged in full-time
service to the society on the platform of AM, until they were married their
role and output was very good. They were hard working & dedicated. But as
soon as those same LFTs got married, they felt themselves surrounded by
innumerable personal problems of their own family, children, etc.

Then, struggling in this way between the two commitments of LFT and family
life, neither could they do full-time social service nor could they look
after their family life properly. In result their own children got
negatively affected and started hating AM.

Many examples are there of this - especially in India - where married LFT's
continue in their dedicated work for AM but in that way their family got
disturbed in many ways. Partly because they hardly had any income and also
because of lack of time spent with the family. Then in that case the
children see that they are not getting what others have-- not proper
clothes, education, or money and ultimately under such conditions they get
one negative impression of AM. The children feel that AM is the cause
of all their problems.


                        OTHER EFFECTS  
      
Furthermore I personally know so many LFT's who started suffering from
an inferiority complex. On the mundane level - i.e. earning money, worldly
comforts, family education - they felt they were not doing good. In that state
of mind when one is filled with an inferiority complex, it is impossible to
give the balm of peace to the suffering humanity.

Because if someone is suffering from psychic ailments of their own, then
how can they remove those same ailments in others' lives. It is commonly
seen how many LFTs after getting married became so self-occupied & drowned by
their personal and own family problems.

And they did not have the time or opportunity to think on the matter of
social service. So on both the fronts they lost: Their marriage suffered
and their LFT life suffered.

Because they were leading the life of LFT so they did not care about the proper
job or earningsource. So when they were suddenly forced / convinced to marry,
then in a flash the situation went from positive to very negative.

We are also aware about many LFTs who worked for some time as LFT without
caring for their worldly qualifications and after getting married they
started feeling the need of proper money and job. In which case some of
them started feeling repentance that why they became LFT. And they began
questioning themselves that why they did not care about own career, degree,
diploma or proper job earlier. Because now their married life became one
nightmare.

So these are some of the common concerns, difficulties and problems related
to LFT life in our organization these days.


                         BABA'S GUIDELINE

Now let us see what our Guru says, then this disputed matter can be solved.
Because in this world everyone has their own logic. So if we investigate
what is Baba's eternal truth and we keep that view in mind and start our
discussion then the outcome will be healthy.


             REMAINING CELIBATE AS LFT IS A DHARMIC STAND,

                          IT IS NOT SINFUL
       
So on this point Baba has given a very significant and in-depth teaching in
the Namah Shivaya Shantaya book, section Shivokti 3. In this following
teaching Baba's guideline is very straight forward. It does not have any
ambiguity nor is it convoluted. In clear-cut language Baba teaches us that
those who want to do something great for the general society or for the
welfare of one and all should remain unmarried.

Baba says, "Those who want to shoulder a greater responsibility out of the
dictates of a noble and great ideology and find it impossible to accept the
bondages of family life, should remain single." (NSS, p. 115)

So Baba's teaching is very clear and we have seen in the practical life
also that when LFTs are bound in marriage then it is very difficult for
them to wholeheartedly serve and give 100% time for the cause of the entire
humanity.


                            LFT vs LPT

One other point: If LFTs are involved both in their own family problems
and in for problems of general society then it means that they are
not giving full time. And in that condition they cannot be called as local
full-time worker-- their situation will be LPT (Local Part-Time).

Because when the full form of the abbreviation of LFT means Local Full
Timer, then surely they have to give full-time otherwise they will not be
LFT. And full time cannot be given when one is in the bond of family life.
That is why LFT and married life are not working together.

So we have to think on this very point. Because nowadays our LFT system is
basically defunct. Means whatever was existing got deteriorated; and
whatever was existing lost its vitality.
                                                   

                        NEED OF THE HOUR

The demand of the time is to create more & more LFTs because LFTs are the
full-time link between the common mass and WTs. Reason being LFTs are more
aware about their own local areas than WTs. So if our LFT structure is
functioning properly then our WTs will more easily manage our social
service programs of Ananda Marga. Otherwise, without the help of LFTs, when
Wts are transferred to new places then they face enormous problem to start
everything from the beginning.


                         BABA'S BLESSING

While there is much work to be done on this earth, by Baba's fathomless and
with a solid AMPS structure-- including a healthy LFT cadre-- success is
assured.

Baba says, "Move ahead and wage war against all difficulties, every
impediment. Victory is sure to embrace you. Difficulties and encumbrances
cannot be more powerful than your capacity to solve them. You are all
children of the great Cosmic Entity." (PNS-6, p.30)

brotherly,
Acintya


Note 1:            PRESSURED BY WHOLE-TIMERS

Get married= WTs are telling or preaching to LFTs that either you
get married or become WT. There are some cases where LFTs do not like to
become WT b/c while living with Wts those LFTs saw first-hand many of the
negativities and Himalayan problems that WTs undergo, and their way of
exploitation to others and by others to them. So because of living close by
WTs and seeing all those things, then in that case many LFTs do not feel
comfortable to join along as a WT. This is one of the reasons. And those
LFTs who decide not to marry and remain as LFT then pressure comes 'You
have to have marry otherwise I push you to be WT. Choose either one. You
cannot remain as LFT and unmarried'. In this situation innocent LFTs feel
themselves to be in an awkward situation. They find themselves standing on
one small rock between one chasm and one ocean. And with pressed mind in
uncomfortable state they half-hearted resolve that, 'Oh, oh okay, if I have
to opt one then I have to choose married life.'


Note 2:            PERSONAL PERSPECTIVE

I have seen here in India that those LFTs who are unmarried, their
work is excellent. Since long time they are continuing their services and
welfare activities unhindered. But unfortunately those who got married
either they left their LFT ships or got plunged into the quagmire of family
life and they became dysfunctional in deep organisational involvement. So
they became liability on both the sides: family life and organisational life.
Here we can conclude that married life is needed and important for aspect
of society building; but for LFT's it is proved as impractical.


Note 3:            CRITICAL MISUNDERSTANDING

The root cause behind this entire LFT issue is the following
defective mentality: 'That we WTs are dedicated & no one else can be
treated as a dedicated'. This sort of misunderstanding is the cause of
ruining the LFT structure.

When we know the truth is that LFTs can and should be just as dedicated as
WTs, because dedication is not something external only. That is why there
are many cases where it looks like someone is fully dedicated but in
reality that person is self-engrossed and involved only in their own belly.
So superficially they dedicated in that they wear the dress, but
practically they are not.

The point is that the dedication of sincere LFT is equally important as
that of good WTs. And when LFTs are allowed and encouraged to express their
dedication then great things can be done for Baba's mission.


Baba

PS Intro: This following song is for teaching to non-margiis because it is
a song in reverence to Lord Krsna. Baba has written this particular Prabhat
Samgiita for devotees of Sri Krsna. In contrast, we Ananda Margiis are
fully devoted to Baba, Lord Shrii Shrii Anandamurtiji, so when we sing with
our devotional heart then we sing to Baba-- not Lord Krsna. In that case we
select one of the innumerable dhyana songs related with Baba. The point
being that for true devotees Ista is one and only one. For more about
pointed devotion and strictness in Ista refer to Baba's colorful
explanation of the shloka, 'Shriinathe...', from AV-23, p.118.


                                  PRABHAT SAMGIITA

"Ka'nu binu tha'ka' na'hi ja'y..."   (P.S. 3355)

Purport:

  Without Lord Krsna, life is very miserable-- surviving itself is very
difficult. Because Lord Krsna is that glittering Personality of my heart so
when He is not present then I suffer terribly from the pain of restlessly
longing for Him.
  Day and night every moment I hear His flute in my heart. With the sound
of that  flute, Lord Krsna is telling me that He loves me. And He tells me,
'I love you, that is why I am calling you'. 
   The flow of my life is ensconced in His ideation and it goes on fighting
strongly against the deep fog and it is rushing with the high tide in a
hundred directions by His grace. 
   My life is very painful in the absence of Lord Krsna...



         ******************************************
                      Time of Eating

Baba says, "This rainy season cucumber is called shashakphalam. This
shashaka phala is a favourite food of the shashaka (in English, "hare").
For this reason its name became shashaka phala. However, one shouldn't
think by this that rabbits don't also love to eat cucumbers."

"Cucumbers which are not grown in the rainy season, but which are grown on
scaffolds rather than being allowed to creep along the ground are also
called shashaka phala. If this shashaka variety of cucumber is left to
creep along the ground then it easily falls prey to insect attacks and its
fruit is destroyed." (SC-3, Disc 19)


Note 1: According to Baba, it is highly beneficial if the small variety of
cucumber is eaten in the morning up to 11 o'clock. That is very good. And
in fact the earlier in the day it is taken the better; and guava falls in a
similar category. If such foods are eaten in the afternoon and late hours,
then it causes cough and cold. This idea Baba has guided in various
discourses / acarya diary.

Note 2: This cucumber is found around the globe and people use it in
salads; that is why it is important topic to discuss with one and all.
         ******************************************