== GAY MARRIAGE: STAND OF A'NANDA MA'RGA ==
Namaskar,
Each and every day in the courts, in congress, in coffee shops, in
bookstores, and in the town hall, heated debates are going on about
gay-lesbian or same sex marriages. All are getting involved: Politicians,
"progressives", church officials, professionals, students, and of course
gays and lesbians. Some say "YES", some say "NO", and some say "I DON'T
KNOW". All together this issue of gay marriage is a pervasive topic in the
society, especially in our western, materialistic countries.
WE SHOULD KNOW OUR STAND
As A'nanda Ma'rgiis, it is important for us to know our AM / Proutistic
stand on each and every social issue. Because by this way we will be able
to implement Baba's divine ideals and solve society's problems at large.
So when in certain parts of the globe the issue of Gay-Lesbian marriage has
become such a burning topic, we should investigate the matter and pointedly
understand and formulate our ideological stand-- based on Baba's teachings,
of course.
That way, now and in the future, we can help the society move ahead in the
proper direction. Plus it will allow us in AMPS to hold a unified stance on
the issue.
So gaining clarity about Baba's position about gay-lesbian marriages holds
numerous benefits.
LET'S TAKE A LOOK HOW IT BECAME A HOT TOPIC
As we explore this topic of gay marriage-- i.e. marriage between a man and
a man, or between a woman and a woman-- we should first take a look at some
of the foundational points of materialistic life. Because this will give us
insight into why in the west the issue of same sex marriages has gained so
much momentum and come to the fore.
And we should also recognise that off-shoots of this are beginning to
sprout in China, India, and other countries-- as materialism spreads more
and more. So this topic of gay marriage is multiplying and fast becoming a
global issue. This we are all going to see-- and are seeing.
So we should know our AM stand on this important issue. Because as things
like gay and lesbian marriages spread in the society then they all tend to
creep into AM. And this we are seeing at this very moment. So in numerous
ways, and in various angles, this issue of gay marriage is going to affect
and touch us all.
That is why we can say it is a burning issue and demands our utmost care
and attention so we can give a reasonable and rational solution- thereby
helping one and all.
A QUICK CLARIFICATION
Before writing anything further let it be known that no person in our human
family is bad or depraved, per se. In AM, we do not believe that criminals
are inherently bad nor do we believe that people are "bad" based on their
sexual orientation. So our approach is not about labeling people, but
rather about seeing the divine within all. That is why we focus on
recognising those life practices which Baba espouses: So that our human
potential can be realised and the best human society can be built. That is
the chief aim of this entire discussion.
BASIS OF LIFE IN MATERIALISTIC COUNTRIES
As we delve into the matter of gay marriages, we should take a look at the
fertile ground in which it has taken root by examining the way of life in
our materialistic countries.
While in AM our approach to life is basically spiritual, in stark contrast,
in the crude, capitalistic society, sex has become the way of life. That is
the overriding emphasis in life and society: Sexual appeal, sexual
relations, sexual looks, and sexual dealings. People rake in huge profits
off of sex and people's self-image is based primarily on sexual allurement,
especially women. Because the misguided idea reigns that the ultimate
satisfaction in life is achieved by sex-- not through any other way. In the
materialistic approach, they do not believe there is anything higher than sex.
So sex is one of the main forces in materialistic life. This is evidenced
by nearly every image in the society: On the billboards, on the TV, in the
movies, in social relations, and in all the ways crude sex has taken hold
of every aspect of life. Such are the degraded and lowly ways of
materialistic life.
Hence although human desires are infinite, due to a lack of spirituality,
in the materialistic societies they try to satisfy their human longing
through sex.
THE MATERIALISTIC VIEW OF MARRIAGE
So when sex holds such a high place in the society, in that case, in this
materialistic era, especially in our western countries, the institution of
marriage is grounded in the idea of being a legalised sexual union between
two people. For years and years this has meant a legalised sexual union
between a man and a woman, i.e. a heterosexual marriage.
Here the critical point is that in materialism, the basis or the foundation
of the marriage system is sex. Marriage allows for two persons to carry out
sexual relations in an "upstanding way" in the society. And whatever else
they wish to do in their married life is entirely up to them. No greater
responsibility is involved.
Marriage then becomes nothing but a ticket for becoming accepted sexual
partners in the society. That is the way it works in the materialistic
west. Because sexual satisfaction is the aim of such marriage, not raising
children nor building a strong society. These outcomes, such as children,
are nothing but the by-product of sexual oriented marriages. Children are
not the main thing in materialistic marriages. But in AM, raising healthy,
idealistic children is the aim of our marriage system. That is the vast
difference between our AM and the materialistic nations.
WHY GAYS AND LESBIANS ALSO WANT TO MARRY
So in certain western countries where marriage is just an avenue for sexual
deeds, step by step, gays and lesbians are forming the opinion then that
they should also be allowed to marry and be looked upon as upstanding
citizens in the society.
Because the gay and lesbian communities argue that when marriage in the
general society itself means a legalised sexual union between two people,
then why should there be discrimination about whom those two people are.
Why not extend those rights of a sexually based marriage to everyone. Why
not allow a gay marriage between a man and a man, or lesbian marriage
between a woman and a woman. Let these types of same sex couples also
partake in this marriage system, since sex is the main prerequisite. Why
should there be discrimination that only a male and a female can marry.
This is the main logic that gays and lesbians put forth about why they
should be allowed to marry.
Because when the whole materialistic society is based on sexual involvement
and when those male-female marriages are based solely on sex, then
naturally gays and lesbians feel that they should also be allowed to marry.
Because they see that when sex is the chief ingredient in forming a
marriage, then gays and lesbians feel that they are worthy candidates for
marriage-- since they satisfy that prerequisite of sexual relations.
Indeed gays and lesbians have gotten so much momentum in this regard that
so-called progressive citizens in these materialistic countries have also
adopted this stance. Because they also know that marriage in the
materialistic countries is a sexual engagement. In that case such
heterosexual progressives wrongly reason that if a man and woman have the
legal right to hold sexual relations, then gays and lesbians should also
have this same sexual freedom and social right. So they also say that
marriage should be offered to gay and lesbian couple also. After all, why
should we discriminate against anyone. This is their so-called open-minded
view of things. This is their "progressive" outlook. All because in the
materialistic societies they see sex as being the basis of marriage. But of
course in AM we know that marriage has a higher purpose and sex is for
procreation-- for producing children-- not for rampantly satisfying one's
carnal pleasures.
Of course the church and political conservatives have their own
narrow-minded reasons for holding an oppositional stance. So this battle is
going on between them and those pro-gay marriage activists.
But, all in all, it can be seen that, the tide in society is moving towards
the stance of legalising gay and lesbian marriages. Because when marriage
in materialistic societies is only based on the sex, then the point comes
that therefore anyone doing any type of sex should be allowed to marry.
This is the faulty conclusion that results-- all because marriage in the
west is based on the idea that sexual relations are everything. There is no
higher idea in mind.
Whereas in AM we know that marriage is a beautiful avenue for building a
healthy society and sexual relations are used just as a means to bring
children into the world.
WHY SOME MARGIIS ALSO GET CONFUSED
Even then as this debate about gay marriage spills over into our AM
discussions at our retreats etc, then some simple margiis have also formed
their own opinions.
They reason that since Baba has granted equal rights to all and since He
has proclaimed that there should not be any differentiation in the society,
then in that case what moral right do we have but to extend the institution
of marriage to gays and lesbians. This is the way some naive margiis view
the situation.
Because when the common public is involved in sexual romance marriages,
then a few margiis also get confused. And not only do they support gay
marriage in the greater society but they approve of it in AM as well. That
is why today in Berlin and Suva sectors, gay marriages are going on in the
open. Margii sisters are marrying other sisters. And many confused margiis
lend their support. Silently or openly they are accepting these gay
marriages in AM.
But by this way those confused margiis forget that in AM the institution of
marriage is not based on sex. And they fail to realise what Baba means by
equal rights and no discrimination. That is why they misapply Baba's
teachings by accepting gay marriages.
So all in all, in various regards, there is mounting confusion over this
entire issue of gay marriage-- both inside and outside our Marga.
But if we take a more careful, holistic look at Baba's teachings then the
matter becomes crystal clear.
WAY OF LIFE IN AM
As we know, in AM, life means movement along the divine path-- the path of
bliss. Our unique philosophy stands on this blessed sutra:
A'tmamoks'a'rtham' jagaddhita'ya ca
So in our Marga and in our social framework, each and every aspect of life
revolves around this special ideal. How we eat, how we sing, how we work,
how we pass our days etc. Each and every action is infused with this spirit
self-realisation and service to humanity, including our approach to
marriage and family life.
Because our AM way of life moves ahead on this grand mission of spiritual
attainment and social welfare.
THE STAND OF ANANDA MARGA ON GAY MARRIAGES
Thus when sex itself is not the basis of all our social interactions, then
naturally the institution of marriage takes on a whole new flavour. Because
in AM marriage is not a mere passage way for sexual relations. Rather
marriage is a dignified institution for building a strong and healthy
society. Marriage is the pathway for raising children in healthy
environment with a stable home that includes both a father and a mother.
This is Baba's guideline (Reference NSS, Disc 4, 7, 8, 9).
Because in AM, the marriages are for supporting one another in a spiritual
way so that when it is time to procreate then the husband and the wife will
be able to raise their children in a sentient and spiritual way. Thus
marriage is the building block for generating a strong, well-knit human
family.
So spirituality is the basis of our AM marriages and the purpose of such
union is for society building-- not sex for the sake of sex.
For all these reasons in our AM, we cannot support gay and lesbian
marriages. Because those marriages are based only on sex-- they have no
redeeming social value; they are not for society building.
Once again the whole problem about gay marriages stems from the fact that
marriage in western materialistic countries is based on sex.
But when we reflect on this point more deeply and realise the true aim and
value of marriage in AM-- that it is for society building-- then there is
no scope for there to be gay and lesbian marriage, neither inside the Marga
nor out.
Rather with tender heart and understanding way we should work with gay and
lesbian people to engage more deeply in a spiritual approach and side by
side we should experiment with the best counseling techniques to give
support to those in the homosexual community so they might develop and grow
in a healthy way.
BABA'S BLESSING
Here is Baba's blessing that ensures that marriage be a stable and bonafide
institution for building a healthy human society.
Baba says, "The Sanskrit equivalent for marriage is viva'ha (vi - vah +
ghain): it means, after the ceremony, the man and woman can no longer live
as libertines or as irresponsible so-called family people. They have to
discharge their full obligations as bhartta' and kalatra, responsible
husband and responsible wife." (NSS: Disc 9)
Namaskar,
Jiivendra
Note: HOW AM AND THE CHURCH DIFFER ON THIS ISSUE
Although the Christian church does not support gay and lesbian marriages,
we cannot say that the church is in line with the ideals of Ananda Marga.
Because since long the church has adopted the view that females are mere
objects of enjoyment for men. Often the church has demoralised the stance
of women. In that case we cannot at all proclaims that their dogmatic view
is consistent with the AM dharma. This is a whole other chapter of
discussion, but in a nutshell this is what it all boils down to.
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Need of the Day
Baba says, "The newly awakened humanity of today is anxious to herald the
advent of one universal society under the vast blue sky. The noble and
righteous persons of all countries, bound by fraternal ties, are eager to
assert in one voice, with one mind, and in the same tune that human society
is one and indivisible." (AFPS, pt 2 p.25)
Note: Nowadays in our Marga society, a few are forgetting this truth. They
should understand that this is not in the favour of dharma. Rather the call
of dharma is to form one human society.
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